Neil Young has announced he does not intend to participate in the forthcoming reunion tour with David Crosby, Stephen Stills and Graham Nash. Instead, his place will be taken by a bottle of Heinz ketchup. The portly Crosby, for one, prefers the new lineup, saying, "Have you ever tried dipping a french fry into Neil Young?"
One of 57 varieties of toothless hippie pablum
Larry was on the bus. A guy carrying a didgideroo got on the bus and sat next to him. Larry looked at the didgeridoo and thought if this starts playing the didgeridoo I'll wrestle him to the ground for the good of all. Larry grew up in a family with a healthy suspicion of the didgeridoo. Suspect the didgeridoo, his father always said. He said, There is nothing worse than someone playing a didgeridoo. It was worse than someone playing the vibraphones or even the ukelele. To play the didgeridoo made you not just an irresponsible man, it made you a bad man. It made you a deceitful, awful, treacherous man, capable of anything. The authorities were constantly telling everyone to be on the lookout for people carrying bombs when they should be been telling everyone to be on the lookout for people carrying didgeridoos. Larry would have gotten up and walked away from the man carrying the didgeridoo but there were no seats empty so he continued to sit next to the man carrying the didgeridoo. He studied the man's face, looking for signs of evil. Once Larry had found himself in a room with a woman shaking a rain stick. It had made an awful impression upon him. "Shake that rain stick!" someone else in the room had called. Larry got out of that room as quickly as possible but he still dreamed about that room and the dreadful noise produced by the rain stick. In his dreams the door refused to open. He was trapped inside the room with the woman shaking the rain stick. How much worse to be trapped in a room with a man playing the didgeridoo! The man next to Larry lifted the didgeridoo as if he intended to play it. Larry said, "Didgeridon't."
Wang Chung released five studio albums in the 1980s. They caused untold suffering. Everyone, it seems, has a story about a moment when they were undergoing intense emotional suffering and seeking support only to have a drunken friend run up to them and shout, "Everybody Wang Chung tonight!"
This was not helpful. People in pain do not want to be invited to Wang Chung tonight. There is so much suffering in the world and the best we can do is tell people to Wang Chung tonight, no wonder the world's in the straits it's in. We're all powerless to help one another. We're all alone with our pain and our incommunicable loneliness and there's nothing we can do for one another and we might as well get used to it.
Everybody have fun tonight, everybody Wang Chung tonight, etc.
Wang and Chung in better times