There is a time to reap, and a time to sow, and a time to waggle your penis at the police.
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June 11, 2012
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The comments to this entry are closed.
What the Byrds didn't dare expostulate ...
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | June 14, 2012 at 12:54 AM
Looks like its wagglin' time.
Posted by: dan | June 17, 2012 at 11:36 PM
Isn't that a misdemeanor?
Hey folks, I'm back. Or not. I think part of me is still roaming the slums of Marseille, another part is burried on some sacret mountain. The rest is lost on the highway, dissolved in cognac and bleeched in the sun. But the physical being is here back home on the range, where the deer and the buffalo shit on your lawn. If you have a lawn, which I don't. Just a 4 square feet garden that isn't even mine anyway, but I said so to the neighbours when they moved in.
The point being: I'm glad to be back and to see this blog still in the air. What have I missed? I will find out. Hey Mike & all. Well... all? Where the flying typhoid is everybody? What happened here. Distemper, shipwrecks and locusts? Jan Martin and Dan hey!
Posted by: Martijn | June 18, 2012 at 09:27 AM
What? Has Pete Seeger pulled your plug too?
Posted by: Martijn | June 18, 2012 at 11:27 AM
Welcome back, Martijn.
Posted by: gillian | June 18, 2012 at 03:49 PM
And where's Mike?
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | June 18, 2012 at 05:07 PM
Indeed! The dating world seems to be more gripping than the Foreign Legion.
Posted by: Martijn | June 18, 2012 at 05:58 PM
Hey guys, I plan on using this guy when my time comes but thought I would share his website in case any one wants to explore. I like the idea of hawaiian retreats... http://personaltao.com/
Posted by: karoline | June 19, 2012 at 09:19 AM
Martijn will save us! Hi Martijn!
Posted by: bulletholes | June 19, 2012 at 10:48 AM
Ma femme fume une pipe. Hey Steve, hey Mike... take your time, don't hurry... love your blog anyway. Have you ever heard of Céline's "L'Ecole des Cadavres"? I hadn't till recently. But then again, I hadn't heard any Huriah Heep record either. Wah wah... this place rocks.
Posted by: Martijn | June 19, 2012 at 05:26 PM
I'm really in the mood for some Pointless Expostulations on the Utter Futility of Everything.
Posted by: Martijn | June 21, 2012 at 06:57 AM
Hey Martijn! As long as the mainman is absent, read the papers, turn on the radio or the TV. and you will find pointlessness in abundance, although it's not as funny or well formulated as it is here.
Mike, what are you doing - getting screwed and tattooed? (As far as I remember, you were going to date a tattoo artist, but that's been some time now ...)
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | June 21, 2012 at 08:03 AM
I hate the papers (ugly lies & unromantic misery), radio (advertisements and Joseph Haydn) and TV (lies, misery, advertisements and bad connection).
I should write something myself -- I have a head full of stuff -- but I'm too beat and nervous from getting back home to an empty house and the ongoing Cold War with my employer. But thanks for the tips, JM.
Is Mike dating a tattoist? No wonder he's so quiet: he probably trying to read what it says on his hiney. Let me help you. Mike it says: "Your Name".
Posted by: Martijn | June 21, 2012 at 08:46 AM
Thats funny Martijn. Hiney. I wouldn't have expected that from you.
Posted by: bulletholes | June 21, 2012 at 11:38 AM
"...My car is fast, my teeth is shiny, I tell all the girls they can kiss my hiney..." And we discussed the word here once before, so I thought Jan Martin would enjoy it.
Posted by: Martijn | June 21, 2012 at 01:41 PM
Hey, Mike, you still have an email from me on Facebook. :)
Hi, everyone!
Posted by: gillian | June 21, 2012 at 04:59 PM
That's right, Martijn, I still remember the discussion, And I still like the word.
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | June 21, 2012 at 06:12 PM
I knew it. Ha ha... let's keep talking rubbish till Der Failurator decides to return to us mortals.
Posted by: Martijn | June 21, 2012 at 06:41 PM
Mike, juat tell her to do the outlines and do thr colour finish later, we need you!
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | June 22, 2012 at 07:19 AM
Try to hold out, Jan Martin, have a Jever.
Posted by: Martijn | June 22, 2012 at 11:25 AM
Jever? I used to drink that stuff a lot back in the day ...
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | June 22, 2012 at 02:11 PM
I found real bottles of Duff beer in the most unlikely place: Burgundy.
(Mike, whatever it is that is plaguing you: hang in and take care. Imagine us singing a chorus of 'Danny Boy' outside in the cold and dark.)
Posted by: Martijn | June 22, 2012 at 05:28 PM
Duff in Burgundy? That's strange indeed. But I guess you won't find Jever in Bavaria, those southerners are not used to bitter beer, they like it more sweetly. Catholic pussies.
Singing "Danny Boy" sounds nice to me, but against al odds I still hope Mike is alive & well & all zonked out from doing the beast with two backs with the tattoo artist.
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | June 23, 2012 at 08:38 AM
You are an admirable optimist, Jan Martin. In my mind Mike is abducted & probed, locked in some plastic bubble because of a rare & freak combination of tropical diseases caused by a failed quit smoking attempt, taken hostage, in custody, taken out by the government, completely freaked out and becoming a Jungle Overlord, ruling with an iron fist over his flock of chipmunks... etcetera. Well, I'm kidding of course, but I AM genuinely worried. That's what I do.
Posted by: Martijn | June 23, 2012 at 03:48 PM
Oh no, Martijn, I am not an optimist. I take things as they come, try to make the best of it, and in this one case, I just hope and widh for the best. And maybe it's in vain ...
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | June 24, 2012 at 01:38 PM
Nothing wrong with hoping & wishing. However, Mike has never been quiet for fun before, and I can't really believe in sudden Wonders. Wait... who lately said: "if you don't believe in miracles, you're not a realist"? I can't remember... unless it was Dutch novellist (and probably millionaire) Arnon Grunberg. (It's probably easier to believe in miracles when you're a millionaire & fiction dealer.) Never mind though, and your approach is very sound, Jan Martin. I should take a few leaves from your book. I worry too much. And Mike is one tough motherfucker! He can take it, whatever the Mighty Smiter throws at him!
Posted by: Martijn | June 24, 2012 at 06:42 PM
Ah... the miracle--realist quote came from David Ben Gurion, I learned. Hmmm, long time since I heard anything from David Ben Gurion. Whatever happened to David Ben Gurion? It's too late to worry about that now too.
Posted by: Martijn | June 24, 2012 at 06:45 PM
Hello there,
I just one to inform I believe I might have seen Mike at least two times in Madrid. Mike, How did you ever end up in Spain?
Posted by: m | June 24, 2012 at 07:32 PM
Now this turns out to be some kind of Edward Gorey-story ... and Martijn, you are right, Mike has never been absent for fun, I know that ... but he might be now! Maybe in Madrid, who can tell?
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | June 25, 2012 at 01:12 AM
Wrong bus to wrong Toledo.
Posted by: Martijn | June 25, 2012 at 04:11 AM
Even though I don't belong to Mike's elite inner circle of friends here, I look forward to his posts and notice when he's gone.
Posted by: Marc | June 25, 2012 at 11:21 PM
Oh, we're hardly elite. I'm glad you're here, Marc.
Posted by: gillian | June 26, 2012 at 01:37 PM
I think we should hear Marc out.
Posted by: Bryon | June 26, 2012 at 02:04 PM
:D
Posted by: gillian | June 26, 2012 at 03:43 PM
The elite inner circle of failure. Mike would love it. Lets put Marc in charge.
Posted by: bullets | June 26, 2012 at 08:47 PM
It'd be an honor to be in Mike's elite inner circle of failure. I feel like a flaccid failure already.
Posted by: Marc | June 26, 2012 at 09:26 PM
'Let's put Marc in charge'... That's mutiny Mr Bullets! I propose a life sized carrara marble statue for Mike with a nize bronze plaque saying: "He Tought His People How To Waggle Their Penisses At The Police."
Mike will Return!
Posted by: Martijn | June 27, 2012 at 05:38 AM
nize = nice (what the hell is wrong with me?)
Posted by: Martijn | June 27, 2012 at 06:48 AM
Spoke to Michael yesterday & he was in good spirits, sounding well. I know he appreciates the kind words. He's just got to find his blogging pants & the brown Bear Bryant hat with the day-glo pheasant feather, then maybe he'll be back & posting. Life is to work through, and he's working. Here's to the return of the King.
Posted by: Jeffers | June 27, 2012 at 07:53 AM
Salute! And thanks for the reassuring words, Jeffers.
Posted by: Martijn | June 27, 2012 at 10:12 AM
I hereby put Marc in charge. Thanks for all the kind and concerned words, everybody. I am failing admirably here, but fighting to regain my blogging form. I shall return! Until then, Marc, you're running the ship. Sincerely, Unremitting Failure.
P.S. I was in Madrid for a day or two. But that was only to consult a rare coin dealer.
I love you all!
Posted by: UF Mike | June 27, 2012 at 11:01 AM
Marc, your use of "flaccid" is particularly apt, given this particular blog entry.
Mike, I love you!
Posted by: gillian | June 27, 2012 at 12:05 PM
So, the way we all convene here from time to time when UF is otherwise occupied, reminds me of the end of Baja Reef at Marineland, in the early-mid 80s. You could go snorkeling there, and I remember my friend and I zipped through it in a hurry, always anxious to see what was around the bend, and then suddenly we were at the end, and a LOT of kids were hanging out and swimming at the end because nobody wanted to leave and we didn't think you could go back in the other direction.
http://youtu.be/fllE40QjuDw
For the record, I'm anti-zoo/animals in captivity, so I never patronize these types of establishments now, but I'll never forget my Baja Reef experience.
Anyway, here we are, hanging out in the UF pool.
xoxo
Posted by: gillian | June 27, 2012 at 12:10 PM
I love you right back, Gillian! Long live Baja Reef!
Posted by: UF Mike | June 27, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Mike's Back! Whoohoo! And long live the Baja Telecaster!
Posted by: Martijn | June 27, 2012 at 01:12 PM
Phew.
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | June 27, 2012 at 01:16 PM
There are pictures of the abandoned Baja Reef here: http://abandonedplaces.livejournal.com/423617.html
I forgot to mention, we swam with various sea creatures, including baby sharks. Creepy, but cool.
Posted by: gillian | June 27, 2012 at 06:12 PM
Man, that is one flaccid marine park.
Ought to be graffiti that says "Griswold was here".
Posted by: bullets | June 28, 2012 at 12:43 AM
Me in charge? The pressure! The pressure!
All I can say is WHERE ARE MY DAMN BOX SCORES?
http://thewvsr.com/voicemail_message.mp3
-and-
I'm going to feed you all a SHIT AND MATER SANDWICH:
http://thewvsr.com/Shit%20n%20Mater%20Sammich.mp3
Posted by: Marc | June 28, 2012 at 01:28 AM
Off topic: 3 Quotes about free jazz from Detination Out's (http://destination-out.com/ ) Beginner's Guide to Free Jazz. I am especially partial to Sonny Sharrock's.
“Is jazz dead? Well, I guess that all depends on what you know.”
-Lester Bowie
“Free jazz reaches back to what jazz was originally, rebelling against the ultra-sophisticated art form it has become.”
-Archie Shepp
“I go out onstage, and my intention is to make the first four rows bleed from their ears.”
-Sonny Sharrock
Posted by: Jeffers | June 28, 2012 at 11:42 AM