We used to laugh at that warning label on medicine bottles containing oxycontin and similar medications. Then we had several teeth removed, and came to understand that heavy machinery encompasses anything bigger than a hand-operated can opener. It most definitely includes the microwave, and the toaster, and the dishwasher. We know this, because we dishwashed some white bread trying to make toast. And dried two plates in the toaster. This works, by the way.
It's Friday, and we've had a hell of a week. Real work, done by real men, was done by us, under duress. We edited, and liaisoned, and made phone calls to people who yelled at us. We even stayed two hours late last night. As a result, we are exhausted, and do not wish to be hassled by anyone for the rest of the day. If a person comes to our desk, looking for anything more than some idle chit-chat, they'd better be prepared for a scissors fight.
We haven't even gone to the gym yet! The gym always straightens us out. Manly exertion, such as is demonstrated by tossing around the old medicine ball, is a great prescription for stress. By the way, whatever happened to the medicine ball? And why was it called a medicine ball in the first place?
This post is going nowhere fast. Quick, let us say something stunning. The best advice we have ever gotten from anyone came from Robert Plant, who said, "If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now." Many a bustle in our hedgerow, which once would have alarmed us, no longer alarms us, thanks to Mr. Plant's sage advice. We pooh pooh the bustle in the hedgerow, which once would have sent us running through the rape field screaming, "Bustle in the hedgerow, bustle in the hedgerow!"
The second best advice we ever received was from Doug Flagler of the Knack, who said, "I didn't want to enjoy my fifteen minutes of fame. I wanted to do drugs." Mr. Flagler, we have never been famous, but should we ever become famous, we hope that we have the wherewithall to follow in your wise footsteps.
Too good for comments.
Posted by: Martijn | November 19, 2011 at 05:13 PM
Thank you kindly, friend.
Posted by: UF MIKE | November 21, 2011 at 08:52 AM
No offense, but if there's a facebook like button, it'll be much easier for me to share.
Posted by: elliptical reviews | November 30, 2011 at 02:21 AM