On this day in 1979, Canada proclaimed the band Rush its Ambassadors of Music. Never has a proud nation of donut eaters gotten it so wrong. Because the honor should have gone to Bachman Turner Overdrive, a band that truly personified the burly charms of the Maple Leaf Nation.
Just look at this photo of Rush. They're wearing kimonos, for Christ's sake! And the guy on the left is suffering from a serious case of male camel toe! And what do kimonos and male camel toe have to do with the rugged and manly nation of Canada, every single one of whose citizens is either a logger, a hockey player, or an ice trucker? Even the women and children are burly loggers, hockey players, and ice truckers! And did we mention trappers? Canada is full of trappers!
You'd never catch a Canadian dead in a kimono! They wear tree-climbing spikes to bed!
This is why BTO should have been declared Canada's Ambassadors of Music. Look at the two guys on the right. They're Canadians! They're burly and hairy and have abominable tastes in clothes, and they drink Molson beer and Canadian Club whiskey and box moose for sport! Why, the guy on the far right looks like he just ate Gordon Lightfoot! And Joni Mitchell for dessert!
No, it should have been Bachman Turner Overweight, not those sissified cross-dressing Ayn Rand-reading fools in Rush, who should be officially representing our frigid northern neighbor in the music world. Geddy Lee could never be an ice trucker or a hockey player. He looks like a skinny girl hiding in the shadows of a school dance in the auditorium of Moosejaw High School, circa 1980.
Canada, it is not too late to right the wrong you did your greatest musical sons. Ask yourself, in all honesty--which of these bands is truly closer to the heart?
Bachman Turner Overdressed perhaps? For Canada I mean. Hey, Mike!
Posted by: Martijn | January 08, 2010 at 10:22 AM
They're probably going to an awards show or something. Hey Martijn!
Posted by: UF Mike | January 08, 2010 at 10:33 AM
That must be it. P.S. the picture of Rush in kimono isn't showing (or maybe just not by me). I ain't seen nothin' yet in any case.
Posted by: Martijn | January 08, 2010 at 10:59 AM
shit. I'll redo the link. It's a classic!
Posted by: UF Mike | January 08, 2010 at 11:10 AM
BTO dude on the right went to Montreal in the 5th round. No shit! And his drums all point towards the front. Neil Peart needs a rotating riser so he can be pompous in all four directions without rewaxing his balls.
Posted by: Dave | January 09, 2010 at 12:24 AM
You're the funniest man in showbiz, Dave. And you do it all from behind a lawnmower.
Posted by: UF MIKE | January 10, 2010 at 11:14 AM
not only are they donning kimonos, Lifeson is sporting a 1st class camel toe (mangina?). glad to have re-found you; after about a year's absence. apologies...i had not only lost my mind, apparently i had lost all my f-ing bookmarks.
Posted by: (S)wine | January 11, 2010 at 12:08 PM