Larry was on the bus. A guy carrying a didgideroo got on the bus and sat next to him. Larry looked at the didgeridoo and thought if this starts playing the didgeridoo I'll wrestle him to the ground for the good of all. Larry grew up in a family with a healthy suspicion of the didgeridoo. Suspect the didgeridoo, his father always said. He said, There is nothing worse than someone playing a didgeridoo. It was worse than someone playing the vibraphones or even the ukelele. To play the didgeridoo made you not just an irresponsible man, it made you a bad man. It made you a deceitful, awful, treacherous man, capable of anything. The authorities were constantly telling everyone to be on the lookout for people carrying bombs when they should be been telling everyone to be on the lookout for people carrying didgeridoos. Larry would have gotten up and walked away from the man carrying the didgeridoo but there were no seats empty so he continued to sit next to the man carrying the didgeridoo. He studied the man's face, looking for signs of evil. Once Larry had found himself in a room with a woman shaking a rain stick. It had made an awful impression upon him. "Shake that rain stick!" someone else in the room had called. Larry got out of that room as quickly as possible but he still dreamed about that room and the dreadful noise produced by the rain stick. In his dreams the door refused to open. He was trapped inside the room with the woman shaking the rain stick. How much worse to be trapped in a room with a man playing the didgeridoo! The man next to Larry lifted the didgeridoo as if he intended to play it. Larry said, "Didgeridon't."
i don't even know how to respond to the genius here.
I am slackjawed once again.
Posted by: Steve | September 25, 2009 at 12:57 PM
Shucks, you're swelling my head.
Hey Steve!
Posted by: UF Mike | September 25, 2009 at 01:50 PM
Didgeridon't is... !*# I'm with Steve on this one. But now about the instrument itself. The didgeridoo is so far out of the scale of music that I don't even object to it: it hums in a harmless idiot manner and gets played by friendly nuts. You once discussed the vibraphones as Most Horrible Musical Instrument, and yes, a real ear fungus it is... but for me personally, there’s one much, much worse, a true and-now-I've-gotta-hurl sound. I'm talking of course about the pan flute. Even talking about it makes me long for shouted speeches of moustached dictators and death marches, and for the players of those flutes I’ve got some caustic lime, earth quakes and fires to burn down the rubble.
Posted by: Martijn | September 28, 2009 at 06:34 AM