People who use the word smidgen. God we hate the word smidgen. Yesterday our doctor who told us we have cancer. But just a smidgen. That's what he said, we have a smidgen of cancer. We asked him if that was less than a pinch of cancer and he said, "A smidgen less." So evidently two smidgens equal a pinch. We're not certain where your dollop fits in, although we're pretty sure it's at least a couple of smidgens. We suspect that a dollop of cancer is about the same thing as a pat of cancer. Only, you know, softer.
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January 30, 2009
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Mike, your tearin' me up today.
Funny how some ailments have their own measurements, like a touch of a cold.
There ought to be a splash of the clap, I suppose, or a pinch of Parkinsons.
Or a bale of insanity.
That'd bout do it.
Posted by: Steve | January 30, 2009 at 01:21 PM
There aren't too many words that get under my skin per se. I'm more sensitive to nouns used as verbs and expressions like, "And at the end of the day." Generally I find the combination of the two = bullshit.
Posted by: Ben | January 30, 2009 at 01:37 PM
A "splash of the clap." That sounds reeeeellly unpleasant. Kinda like a dash of dengue fever. Or: "It's nothing, old chap. Just a spot of Ebola. You'll be bleeding from the eyes in no time."
Ben, I guess I used to work with said, "From soups to nuts" regularly. Too regularly. He also used to say, no shit, "How will that play in Peoria?" His name was Cliff and he had those big thick glasses that make the wearer's eyes look like like eggs sunnyside up.
Posted by: UF Mike | January 30, 2009 at 04:24 PM
Gives a whole new meaning to "4-Finger Bag"
Posted by: Steve | January 30, 2009 at 05:45 PM
I hope the cancer is rendered null and void quickly. Because what would I do without my daily dose of the ADD essayist?
Posted by: misfitinparadise | January 31, 2009 at 09:15 PM