Ten Reasons to Hate U2

1. They have a guy in their band named Larry.

2. They still haven't found what they're looking for?  Would it kill them to ask a clerk?

3. "The Edge" sounds like a disposable BIC product.

4. How awful is Bono?  If given the choice of sparing either Sting or him, we would actually have to think about it.

5. In the name of love? How about in the name of God?

6. Bono is an anagram of Nobo, Noob, and Pompous Dickhead.

7. They care so much it makes our teeth hurt like we're chewing tinfoil. 

8. If given the choice of sparing either Bono or Oprah, we would actually have to think about it.

9. James Joyce counseled his fellow Irishmen to adopt "silence, exile and cunning."  In Bono's case, we'd have settled for the silence.

10. They're going to be around forever, aren't they?  Like a turd stain on a gas station wall.

Comments

[Lx]

Paul, David, Larry, and Adam.
fuckin Jiffy Lube technicians in Buford, Georgia.
although i will admit i went and saw the Unforgettable Fire tour at the Cap. Centre in '85.
but that's where my listening to them stopped.
with that "album"

[Unremitting Mike]

They've got some songs we love, and we hate ourselves for it. But we've got to stop blaming ourselves. It's not our fault. It's the fault of the lepers in our head.

[Ben]

Hell. You forgot the 11th reason, which may actually be my first. "U2:" which is now a texting petroglyph for a band name that is somewhat grade schoolish and way too assumptive/presumptive.

[Unremitting Mike]

Great point. At the risk of sounding like an "old fuddyduddy", we would just like to take our false teeth out for a moment and rail against all the "whippersnappers" who think using "u" instead of "you" is perfectly acceptable. It is not, you bunch of insolent jackanapes, and if we see you doing it again we're going to beat you with our cane like a red-headed stepchild.

[Christina]

I saw the BOY tour, and it was great, but once they decided to start 'waving flags' forget it! I want my music to entertain me and evoke MY OWN feelings! I DON'T want it to try to drag me into whatever the singers are representing! THEIR views aren't necessarily MINE!
U2 - YUK!!

[Charlie Nelson]

You'd actually have to think of who to spare between Bono and Sting? At least Sting was in the Police...

[Rev Dr Bernard Honeytop]

Q magazine gave their new 'album' 5 stars. This means it'll suck. Bono owns Q.

Do they still play 'Bullet The Blue Sky'? Bet they have their tongues in their cheeks when they do. Peeling off them dollar bills... one trillion dollar bailout... two trillion dollar bailout...

Them folk in Borneo who've never even seen a radio, a beenie hat, a pair of wraparounds, or a crosseyed bass player, don't know how lucky they are. But don't despair... Bono and the gang will find you.

I have this fear that one day, when the governments of the world are forcing bird flu jabs on us at gunpoint, we'll be given a complimentary U2 compilation. I'll take my chances with a bullet.

[Michaeld]

Bono is a self-consumed bastard who inherently doesnt give a shit about anyone else or, for that matter, know what to do with his money so he covers it up by giving to people in need.

[Acrobat]

Wow... look at the haters.

I will admit there are things the band does that makes me cringe, but these 4 guys do a lot for those in need.

Then there is Bono's missus.

So they managed to be successful making joyful and confronting music, but good on them. Good on them for having the guts to stand up for their own views.

They don't ask people to share them, they've said that a million times, they just ask people to THINK.

There have been a million times I'd like to smack Bono senseless, he gets too passionate it is annoying at times, but credit where credit is do... they do a lot for plenty of places.

New Orleans, Africa, Ireland... and thats only the stuff we know about... I am sure they donate money to others we don't even know about...

So, I admire their gumption.

And I don't mind the music.

[matt]

U2 = Pure Shit

No one, not even some overrated irish knob, has the right to wear safety glasses 24 : 7

Will they ever go away?

[tim]

I really hate U2 so i love the idea of this post, however, not one of the 10 reasons were even remotely funny or clever.

[Keith]

Sparing or sparring?

[Jane]

Hate much? U2 has produced some of the greatest songs of all time. They are rock stars with a concious, and do a lot of good for the world. Im sure they didn't get to where they are now by sitting around hating on other people. Does bringing down another person/band make you feel better? If so ... then you have bigger issues on your plate.

[Andy]

First of all, deciding whether or not music is good to a person is all a matter of opinion. Think about it, people like Seether, The Beatles, Brittany Spears, ect. And in MY opinion they all suck. What I'm saying is, I think U2 is one of the worst bands ever. The songs I have heard all sound exactly the same. And someone made a point that they do good things for people, my question to you would be if you had millions of dollars wouldn't you do some good in the world? I would hope so, because I certainly would. I can't understand why the hell they are so popular. They are super corny and whats up with Bono and his glasses fetish? There's a guy in the band named "The Edge", wow if that doesn't seal the deal I don't know what would. Bottom line is that I don't hate U2, I just want them to go away forever and stop making horrible horrible music that makes me want to puke no matter what kind of mood I'm in.

[Gonzamarus]

I recently looked at a rake of 'top album' lists, and virtually without exception, the 'indie' type polls exclude U2 altogether. In other words they have no musical merit. This I find interesting. As Bill the bard said 'The lady doth protest too much'. Clearly U2 have some merit, so what's getting on everyone's goat? Well, considering the makeup of the critical language in all these polls, many people may actually hate U2 because the unashamed emotional assault of the music is unsettling, even offputting. It's not cool, it's not anemic, it's not apolitical. In fact it's all of the things that 'cool' is not. However, and this is a big however, Dylan has often said that music does not live on records, it lives in the auditorium, and he's right. Back in 1984 when asked he said the only band that ever made him stop in his tracks in 25 years was U2, 'they blew me away' he said. No Beatles, no Stones, no Led Zep. The reason, he said, was the emotional impact of the music. So It's no coincidence then that U2 are most critically acclaimed in countries where the culture encourages people to show their emotions and their emotional responses just as they feel them. Not in some cock and bull Freudian Californian way, but just without cultural inhibition. So straight away that excludes most of the Anglo-Saxon world, perhaps with the exception of Oz, and of course, Ireland. Ergo the web culture where all these 'top album' lists proliferate. If you just close your eyes you can feel the enemy. The enemy is puritan political correctness, or the repressed love of life that pervades WASP culture. Can U2 be cool? Well, no. Are they the greatest band in history? Well no. That would be Pixies, probably. But do U2 make great music? Well yes they do.
I remember hearing a chap on the radio say that adventure is not canoeing the rapids in Borneo or drinking frogs blood at a central american red light hotel, it was calling in on the neighbour you don't really know or like. In that vein, if you hate U2, check out 'Promenade' on the Unforgettable Fire. The lyrics are nonsense grammatically, but in terms of Joycean image making and the blending of words and music, it is a magical evocation of a stroll by the sea. Forget Bono the public figure, just listen. If you still can't let the music inside your head, well best to get on with life, it probably will never happen.

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