So it's six in the morning, first day of comma season, and Charlie and I are deep in the verbiage. We're seeing nothing which is amazing as there are tons of commas out there, people can say what they want about hunting wild punctuation but when it comes to commas you've got to thin the herd because they're out there starving to death, there are so many of them. But on this morning, nothing. We see a few ampersands, a nice family of periods at a salt lick. Suddenly we get charged, no shit, by a semi-colon. Big fucker. Must be 48-point. Me, I take off like a run-on sentence. I've heard about guys getting gored by question marks, and I'm taking no chances. But Charlie stands his ground and as I'm running I hear first a shot, then another shot, and then I hear Charlie scream, and when I finally get the nerve to go back I see him on the ground, getting picked at by a couple of parentheses, the vultures of punctuation. Game officials who finally got that semi-colon said they never saw anything like it. Said it was like something out of one of those extra-large-print books for old people. I was like, no shit: I saw the mother. With punctuation like that out there, you'd be safer going to Africa to hunt exclamation marks. People see a semi-colon, they laugh. Because a semi-colon looks harmless. Well, go ask Charlie how harmless they are. Go ask Charlie.
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May 09, 2006
Comments
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After his surgery my grandpa had a semicolon. After her surgery, though, my mom didn't have a period.
This post is hilarious.
Hello, Mike.
Posted by: scott | May 09, 2006 at 09:26 AM
No, pal, yours is hilarious! Hilarious, cruel, and so, so sad. Hey Scott. Love yr blog!
Posted by: UF | May 09, 2006 at 09:54 AM
Thanks.
Posted by: scott | May 09, 2006 at 10:03 AM
Witty. Hot Dot would be proud. A hat tip to ya.
Posted by: Ben | May 09, 2006 at 10:39 AM
Hot Dot; one of the original Algonquin Wits. Not. Thanks, Ben!
Posted by: UF | May 09, 2006 at 10:58 AM
This post made me laugh and laugh.
Posted by: Karindira | May 10, 2006 at 12:33 AM
The idea of a punctuation hunter is great fun, and I love the warning about seemingly-harmless semicolons! Very funny!
Posted by: Craig | May 20, 2006 at 05:28 PM
The idea of a punctuation hunter is great fun, and I love the warning about seemingly-harmless semicolons! Very funny!
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