Last night the Doobie Brothers appeared at my door. They said, "We have no place to stay." I told them my apartment wasn't equipped to bed that much Doobage. "We can sleep on the floor," one of them said. "Oh black water," said another. "I won't tolerate any Doobie Brother lyrics in my home," I told them. "Mississippi moon," said the same Doobie. "He can't help himself said another one of the Doobies. "He can only speak in Doobie Brother lyrics." "Long train runnin'," said the retarded Doobie. I slammed the door in their face. And from behind the door heard the retarded Doobie say, "Perhaps I should have told him Jesus is just alright."