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January 17, 2013



I read it at The Vinyl District. This is one hell of a story that makes me humble and filled with mixed emotions. My emotions are a bag of mixed nuts. Your story a four-course diner including a pie fight.

UF Mike

Thanks Martijn. I love you line, "My emotions are a big of mixed nuts." And guess who lost the pie fight?


Can't post


Pie fights don't have losers, just runners-up. And cleaners-up. No, Mike, the only loser is me for not having seen you swinging from the ceiling and doing a Wile E. Coyote jump from stage. You rock 'n' roll romatic you! Have a great weekend.


Part 1.

I liked Tom waits comments when asked if he'd seen Spinal Tap. He said something like 'I couldn't laugh at that film, It was every tour I've ever been on'. Same with this article for me, it's every band I've ever been in.
Here are some examples.
Most recently I was part of a 3 piece math-rock instrumental band called 'Din of Inequity' or just 'The Din' to those who knew us. Even our girlfriends wouldn't come & see us.
We were all members of another group called 'Crowd Dispersal Unit', which is fairly self explanatory.
In the eighties I was part of a group called 'The 10,000 Names of Nowhere Fast', the idea being we had so many good band names that we should put them all in a book & perform under a different name each night. Never heard of us? Well maybe you've heard of 'Supreme Monotreme & The Extremes,or 'Spent Rent & the Bent Spoons' or maybe 'Fungus Umungus'? I didn't think so, it was a shit idea.



Part 2.

In the nineties we took this concept to the University band competition, we would enter as many band names as we found amusing, if any of them were selected we would flesh out that band for one night only. That way I got to play in Intravenous Flytrap, Spontaneous Human Combustion, Berserk Romanian Arch-Bishops from beyond the Edge of the Thirteenth Dimension, F.I.S.T [fucking incredible sonic torture],& others. These projects were sort of designed to fail so failure in these instances was almost some kind of success. What shows a real commitment to failure is taking a band that is feted, lionized, destined for success & still managing to wrest defeat from the jaws of victory.
There was Azmodeus. From our very first jam we had a following, no shit. We cut a swathe through Sydney for about 14 months in the early nineties packing houses, being acclaimed equal (with The Bacchantes) Sydney band of the year in Blunt Magazine, & making it to the grand final of the university band comp, a non-smoking event sponsored by Coca-Cola.
We were amused in the green room at the other bands in the competition who were variously engaging in 'group hugs', calisthenics, the drinking of herbal teas, & other activities which we considered 'not very rock'. So we made a bong out of an orange juice bottle, bought a box of beers & a quart of Jack Daniels, sat down in a circle & consumed the lot.
When we were called on stage we were all rotten drunk, smoking cigarettes & had cans of Australia's most popular beer Victoria Bitter in our hands. I made the announcement 'Don't forget kids, drink VB, it's the choice of a useless generation.' Then instead of our usual set of crowd pleasing tunes we plunged into 40 minutes of high voltage F.I.S.T which rather satisfyingly left the packed house absolutely silent.
We were beaten by a band called Earthworm, who also rather satisfyingly no-one has heard of since, it seemed that winning a competition sponsored by Coke was some sort of poisoned chalice & maybe we trashed our career but preserved our legend.
They say, Remember the Alamo.
We say remember Metallic K.O!


Sorry about the very long comment, it was the fourth time i'd tried to post before i realised i'd busted the word limit & your site thought i was a spambot, & of course i wasn't prepared to take a single word back. Still got that problem with comma's, can you help?



UF Mike

Dan: You're my new hero. If any understands the concept of unremitting failure, you do. Have the audacity to fail--repeatedly!


Is failure an option?

Ethics Law

Worth it to read accessibility, I look forward to the next! Ethics Law http://punemirror.in/BLOGS/post/302byrs-The-revised-age-criteria-for-entry-into-schools.aspx

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