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November 16, 2012


Jan Martin Löhndorf



Yeah! That's the can-do roll up your sleave and fail big spirit!

Hey, I will not downplay your feelings of growing stale (self-critisism is the worst kind) but for me you were still writing about new things all the time. I even bought a Rod Stewart record this week ("Every Picture Tells a Story") and I love it. So there...

And next holiday I'll go invade Poland.


Oh thanks God. I've been having to thumb through old Fingerhut catalogs, looking for something to write about.


I've been reposting old posts on the family Christian website--I'm pretty popular!


For the record, I never felt you'd grown stale. I always find some glimmer of delight, if not full-blown every single word delight, in everything you post. I emailed you on Facebook, too.


Welcome back :)


While you were away, I occupied a bit of my time with this: http://vomitinducing.tumblr.com/

A couple of my favorites:



Dave Mows Grass

I've been enjoying the music reviews. Without them, I would not be aware of a genre of music called ska.

And don't worry about not being funny or original. You couldn't be not funny or original if you tried. I can, but I have a gift. I have the gift of a stale mind, one neither depressed nor not depressed, which neither loaths nor doesn't loath itself, which leaves comments like this one without regard for the feelings of the reader. It's a funny thing, staleness. It makes you do strange things, like run 82 laps of the third-mile walking path at Tontitown Park in just under six hours. Today my son and I played in leaves for nearly two hours, by any measure an utterly purposeless waste of time. Trust me, I know stale. But that said, I hope you do return to your pointless blogging and that your perception of your own empty work comes into alignment with the concensus opinion of your readers, specifically that it is funny as shit and the most original thing on the web or off. We like it.



What Dave said!


Etc! That's me.

Jan Martin Löhndorf

I am with Bryon & Marc here


Alright, make with the futility already!


Oh, & I can see from your Tragically Hip review that this work caper isn't all beer & skittles, you actually have to do some work too.


When in doubt, write a detective story! Many a great writer has used this loophole to their advantage: Anton Chekhov, Fernando Pessoa, Herman Brusselmans.

Dave Mows Grass

Happy Thanksgiving, Mike and friends! I wish you all the best.


Thanksgiving? Again?! Alright then: Happy TG everybody.

And here's perhaps an interesting diner conversation piece: did you know that Adolf Hitler was supposed to be included on the Sgt. Pepper sleave? That he was even in it on some of the early shots, but was later obscured by Johnny Weismuller! Hè?! Weismuller... smart miller.

Even more: Mohandas Ghandi was originally in it too, but was left out because of marketing considerations in India. I can see Baby Hitler and Baby Ghandi nostalgically reminisce about their missed opportunity for eternal fame.

It's a sunny morning and I'm studying Sgt. Pepper. Not that I'm bored or anything you know...

Thanks for knowing you all.



I've strayed. I've been screwing another blog. I tried to be faithful to UNREMITTING FAILURE, but after you got stale and let yourself go, I started visiting DAVE MOWS GRASS. It was just an innocent thing at first, but, well...


Dave Mows Grass

I wouldn't worry too much, Mike. I know DAVE MOWS GRASS. It bitches all the time and really isn't a very good screw to start with. That blog has issues! Marc will be back.

(Hi Markie, wink, wink!)


...As I walked out into the bright sunlight.

Jim Macrae

every post is gold,and you know it....or should.


Let's give the fish some food


Indeed! The fish in my aquarium are just as restless as I am...

But now for something completely different: today I bought 16 books*, amongst which are two Kerouacs, 'Visions of Cody' and 'The Town and the City'. Any recommendations?

*apart of those two, 10 books of poetry, a guide of insects and one of mushrooms, Sofokles' Antigone, letters of Richard Wagner (1856-1883) and a photo book about the Women of Rome (1959).

Miss Peas

I've been failing lousily without you!

Dave Mows Grass

I hope all is well.


Jan Martin Löhndorf

Hey Mike!
Ain't no sunshine ...
You ok? Sort of, at least?


Oh shit. The fish. I got a fish somewhere. I better go feed him.

Jan Martin Löhndorf

Oh heck - where IS that confounded fish?



And the word of the day is schizophreniasticalidocious.

I'm gettin' hungry.

Jan Martin Löhndorf

Then I suggest you eat something.
Hey Martijn!


I just ate... but I'm still hungry.



Dave Mows Grass

Your hyperlexiconiacallity blows my freakin' mind, Martijn.


Spoke to UF today, brother mine is doing fine, just out of the blogging routine. I told him to at least post updates on here so folks don't worry.


Thanks for the good message, brother J. Meta and extravocabulary good wishes to him and everyone.


Thanks, Jeffers.

Jan Martin Löhndorf


Thankya, Jeffers!


I expect the great American novel on my desk tomorrow morning, & if its not. It's your job Scooter!
I'll just keep punching in f for futility 'til then.
Peace, love, & understanding.


Mike, please don't tell me you've enlisted in the Liechtenstein Navy. Or similarly: the Dutch Alpinist Society, the Amish Breakdance Club or the German Squirrel Appreciation Society.

Just drop us a word I mean. Hey.

Jan Martin Löhndorf

Zere iss nussing vrong viss ze cherman skvirrel a... aprich ,,, uppre - henze... ah, blow it!


Strangest thing happened to me last night. I was watching "Its a Wonderful life", and you know the part at the end where George Bailey throws himself in the river?
Thats not the end of the movie.
I've watched that show a million times, and like everybody else, cried like a baby at the end. But it wasn't really the end.

I guess I like it better with the weird happy ending, its pretty close. I mean, I always thought it was a pretty good movie, what with George throwing himself off the bridge into that icy water. Thats not a bad way to go for a guy thats facing 20 years, is it?


Hey everybody, check out Mike's review of the blue oyster cult at The Vinyl District. It's hilarious and it has a comments box.


Hi everyone, welcome to my new blog it's called Comments on an Apology.
For my first post I'd like to tell you a racist joke. Don't worry it's about my race, white trash Australian.
I heard a Russian comedian tell this one back in the eighties & I'm still telling it today, It just sums up my fellow country folk so well.

There's two Australians walking down the street, right? One finds a pay packet on the ground, picks it up, it reads $865.20 nett. His friend says
"Geez mate its your lucky day"!
To which his mate replies,
"Bullshit it is, look how much tax I had to pay"!

On second thoughts this blogging thing is too much like hard work so I'll just hand you back over to Mike.


dan, I'm sitting here laughing my head off just over the first couple lines of your last comment.


Thanks Gillian, I hope you didn't mind the racist though.


Joke I meant to say, d'oh.


Who is your favorite satanist?


Santa himself.

Jan Martin Löhndorf

You mean: Satan Claus?


No-one's ever seen them in the same room at the same time...


Creepy beard... check! Stench of sulfur & pixie dust... check! Tries to buy your soul... check! Snazzy red outfit... check! Godsarnit, you two are right.


Birdie num num.

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