We've been so preoccupied writing music reviews that we've let this blog go. We apologize for that. We miss everybody--Martijn, Martin, Gillian, Bulletholes, Dave, etc.--and intend to make a go of it again. Part of the reason we stopped blogging is that we felt we'd grown stale--that nothing we were writing was funny or original anymore. But we're going to try with all our might to rejuvenate this site. Okay?
« The Tragically Hip | Main | My Redneck Drive-By Truckers Review »
November 16, 2012
Comments
The comments to this entry are closed.
Okay.
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | November 16, 2012 at 01:34 PM
Yeah! That's the can-do roll up your sleave and fail big spirit!
Hey, I will not downplay your feelings of growing stale (self-critisism is the worst kind) but for me you were still writing about new things all the time. I even bought a Rod Stewart record this week ("Every Picture Tells a Story") and I love it. So there...
And next holiday I'll go invade Poland.
Posted by: Martijn | November 16, 2012 at 04:24 PM
Oh thanks God. I've been having to thumb through old Fingerhut catalogs, looking for something to write about.
Posted by: Bulletholes | November 16, 2012 at 07:56 PM
I've been reposting old posts on the family Christian website--I'm pretty popular!
Posted by: Smay | November 16, 2012 at 10:18 PM
For the record, I never felt you'd grown stale. I always find some glimmer of delight, if not full-blown every single word delight, in everything you post. I emailed you on Facebook, too.
Posted by: gillian | November 16, 2012 at 10:52 PM
Welcome back :)
Posted by: gillian | November 16, 2012 at 10:52 PM
While you were away, I occupied a bit of my time with this: http://vomitinducing.tumblr.com/
A couple of my favorites:
http://vomitinducing.tumblr.com/post/35402901540/look-at-that-childs-face-you-have-given-birth-to
http://vomitinducing.tumblr.com/post/35481552180/no-love-thats-called-being-a-doormat
Posted by: gillian | November 16, 2012 at 11:02 PM
I've been enjoying the music reviews. Without them, I would not be aware of a genre of music called ska.
And don't worry about not being funny or original. You couldn't be not funny or original if you tried. I can, but I have a gift. I have the gift of a stale mind, one neither depressed nor not depressed, which neither loaths nor doesn't loath itself, which leaves comments like this one without regard for the feelings of the reader. It's a funny thing, staleness. It makes you do strange things, like run 82 laps of the third-mile walking path at Tontitown Park in just under six hours. Today my son and I played in leaves for nearly two hours, by any measure an utterly purposeless waste of time. Trust me, I know stale. But that said, I hope you do return to your pointless blogging and that your perception of your own empty work comes into alignment with the concensus opinion of your readers, specifically that it is funny as shit and the most original thing on the web or off. We like it.
Peace.
Posted by: Dave Mows Grass | November 17, 2012 at 02:37 AM
What Dave said!
Posted by: Bryon | November 17, 2012 at 04:11 PM
Etc! That's me.
Posted by: Marc | November 20, 2012 at 01:19 AM
I am with Bryon & Marc here
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | November 20, 2012 at 02:19 AM
Alright, make with the futility already!
Posted by: Dan | November 20, 2012 at 07:08 AM
Oh, & I can see from your Tragically Hip review that this work caper isn't all beer & skittles, you actually have to do some work too.
Posted by: Dan | November 20, 2012 at 07:27 AM
When in doubt, write a detective story! Many a great writer has used this loophole to their advantage: Anton Chekhov, Fernando Pessoa, Herman Brusselmans.
Posted by: Martijn | November 21, 2012 at 04:43 AM
Happy Thanksgiving, Mike and friends! I wish you all the best.
Posted by: Dave Mows Grass | November 22, 2012 at 03:29 AM
Thanksgiving? Again?! Alright then: Happy TG everybody.
And here's perhaps an interesting diner conversation piece: did you know that Adolf Hitler was supposed to be included on the Sgt. Pepper sleave? That he was even in it on some of the early shots, but was later obscured by Johnny Weismuller! Hè?! Weismuller... smart miller.
Even more: Mohandas Ghandi was originally in it too, but was left out because of marketing considerations in India. I can see Baby Hitler and Baby Ghandi nostalgically reminisce about their missed opportunity for eternal fame.
It's a sunny morning and I'm studying Sgt. Pepper. Not that I'm bored or anything you know...
Thanks for knowing you all.
Posted by: Martijn | November 22, 2012 at 04:42 AM
Mike,
I've strayed. I've been screwing another blog. I tried to be faithful to UNREMITTING FAILURE, but after you got stale and let yourself go, I started visiting DAVE MOWS GRASS. It was just an innocent thing at first, but, well...
--Marc
Posted by: Marc | November 25, 2012 at 04:47 AM
I wouldn't worry too much, Mike. I know DAVE MOWS GRASS. It bitches all the time and really isn't a very good screw to start with. That blog has issues! Marc will be back.
(Hi Markie, wink, wink!)
Posted by: Dave Mows Grass | November 25, 2012 at 01:04 PM
...As I walked out into the bright sunlight.
Posted by: Dan | November 26, 2012 at 06:17 AM
every post is gold,and you know it....or should.
Posted by: Jim Macrae | November 26, 2012 at 08:53 AM
Let's give the fish some food
Posted by: Nevverdaily | November 28, 2012 at 01:46 AM
Indeed! The fish in my aquarium are just as restless as I am...
But now for something completely different: today I bought 16 books*, amongst which are two Kerouacs, 'Visions of Cody' and 'The Town and the City'. Any recommendations?
*apart of those two, 10 books of poetry, a guide of insects and one of mushrooms, Sofokles' Antigone, letters of Richard Wagner (1856-1883) and a photo book about the Women of Rome (1959).
Posted by: Martijn | November 28, 2012 at 05:15 PM
I've been failing lousily without you!
Posted by: Miss Peas | November 28, 2012 at 08:38 PM
I hope all is well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGDo1Jybs_I
Posted by: Dave Mows Grass | December 01, 2012 at 01:12 AM
Hey Mike!
Ain't no sunshine ...
You ok? Sort of, at least?
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | December 01, 2012 at 02:23 PM
Oh shit. The fish. I got a fish somewhere. I better go feed him.
Uh-oh...
Posted by: bullets | December 01, 2012 at 05:18 PM
Oh heck - where IS that confounded fish?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Uvt83YWWWY
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | December 02, 2012 at 08:23 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGkLZ75S0yo
And the word of the day is schizophreniasticalidocious.
I'm gettin' hungry.
Posted by: Martijn | December 03, 2012 at 11:07 AM
Then I suggest you eat something.
Hey Martijn!
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | December 03, 2012 at 01:32 PM
I just ate... but I'm still hungry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z47Zje99Qdo
Grüss!
Posted by: Martijn | December 03, 2012 at 03:02 PM
Your hyperlexiconiacallity blows my freakin' mind, Martijn.
Posted by: Dave Mows Grass | December 03, 2012 at 07:29 PM
Spoke to UF today, brother mine is doing fine, just out of the blogging routine. I told him to at least post updates on here so folks don't worry.
Posted by: Jeffers | December 04, 2012 at 02:05 PM
Thanks for the good message, brother J. Meta and extravocabulary good wishes to him and everyone.
Posted by: Martijn | December 04, 2012 at 02:31 PM
Thanks, Jeffers.
Posted by: marc | December 04, 2012 at 11:02 PM
Phew.
Thankya, Jeffers!
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | December 05, 2012 at 01:59 AM
I expect the great American novel on my desk tomorrow morning, & if its not. It's your job Scooter!
I'll just keep punching in f for futility 'til then.
Peace, love, & understanding.
Posted by: dan | December 05, 2012 at 03:12 AM
Mike, please don't tell me you've enlisted in the Liechtenstein Navy. Or similarly: the Dutch Alpinist Society, the Amish Breakdance Club or the German Squirrel Appreciation Society.
Just drop us a word I mean. Hey.
Posted by: Martijn | December 07, 2012 at 05:09 AM
Zere iss nussing vrong viss ze cherman skvirrel a... aprich ,,, uppre - henze... ah, blow it!
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | December 07, 2012 at 12:25 PM
Strangest thing happened to me last night. I was watching "Its a Wonderful life", and you know the part at the end where George Bailey throws himself in the river?
Thats not the end of the movie.
I've watched that show a million times, and like everybody else, cried like a baby at the end. But it wasn't really the end.
I guess I like it better with the weird happy ending, its pretty close. I mean, I always thought it was a pretty good movie, what with George throwing himself off the bridge into that icy water. Thats not a bad way to go for a guy thats facing 20 years, is it?
Posted by: bulletholes | December 07, 2012 at 01:40 PM
Hey everybody, check out Mike's review of the blue oyster cult at The Vinyl District. It's hilarious and it has a comments box.
Posted by: dan | December 08, 2012 at 09:19 PM
Hi everyone, welcome to my new blog it's called Comments on an Apology.
For my first post I'd like to tell you a racist joke. Don't worry it's about my race, white trash Australian.
I heard a Russian comedian tell this one back in the eighties & I'm still telling it today, It just sums up my fellow country folk so well.
There's two Australians walking down the street, right? One finds a pay packet on the ground, picks it up, it reads $865.20 nett. His friend says
"Geez mate its your lucky day"!
To which his mate replies,
"Bullshit it is, look how much tax I had to pay"!
On second thoughts this blogging thing is too much like hard work so I'll just hand you back over to Mike.
Posted by: dan | December 09, 2012 at 06:14 AM
dan, I'm sitting here laughing my head off just over the first couple lines of your last comment.
Posted by: gillian | December 10, 2012 at 03:25 AM
Thanks Gillian, I hope you didn't mind the racist though.
Posted by: dan | December 10, 2012 at 05:32 AM
Joke I meant to say, d'oh.
Posted by: dan | December 10, 2012 at 05:35 AM
Who is your favorite satanist?
Posted by: Martijn | December 12, 2012 at 03:28 PM
Santa himself.
Posted by: dan | December 12, 2012 at 06:22 PM
You mean: Satan Claus?
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | December 13, 2012 at 02:15 AM
No-one's ever seen them in the same room at the same time...
Posted by: dan | December 13, 2012 at 04:17 AM
Creepy beard... check! Stench of sulfur & pixie dust... check! Tries to buy your soul... check! Snazzy red outfit... check! Godsarnit, you two are right.
Posted by: Martijn | December 13, 2012 at 04:59 AM
Birdie num num.
Posted by: Martijn | December 13, 2012 at 05:23 PM