Well, it's been a while. And as the old black guy sang, "Nobody knows the trouble we've seen." Between our continued feelings of rejection over the date gone bad, yet another lamebrain scheme (SmokeEnders this time) to give up the smokes, and a new plan to move out of our shared apartment with Mrs. UF in lesbian laden Dupont Circle, we've been in a sustained dither that has left us speechless. Anxiety and depression have been our constant companions.
We're happy to see people have been posting comments. It's nice to know we have a community here of like-minded people who all share a sense of humor. We only laughed once in the past week, at the suggestion that we listen to meditation tapes. We don't need meditation, we need a lobotomy. But be that as it may. Sometimes we're surprised we don't spontaneously combust. That we don't leave behind anything but some ashes and a pair of charred sneakers.
If we've been placed on this wretched planet to do anything, it's to write. We're not very good at it, but it's in our bones. So this blog is important to us. It's our job, so to speak. And we've been falling down at it. It's hard to write when you're in a brown study, with a black dog on your lap, but we're going to try harder. We're supposed to give up the smokes on Friday. We'll see how that goes. Something tells us we'll last about, oh, six hours. But what a six hours they'll be! We plan to spend as many of them as possible asleep, and the rest muttering, "Oh lord no. Not the heebie jeebies. Not the jim jams. Hoochie mama, I need a cancer stick!"
Dude, glad to see you're writing again. But could you edit this lovely piece of unremitting depression and take out the address please. Thank you. Smiley face.
Posted by: The Good German | February 07, 2012 at 11:38 AM
You dare to ask me to alter my perfect words? The sheer unmitigated gall! Who are you Good German, one of the Kaiser's pickelhaubed minions? And does you Smiley Face have a Hitler mustache?
Posted by: UF Mike | February 07, 2012 at 12:00 PM
I know, I'm so sorry, I appall myself. That's why I didn't mention the "too" you used when it should have been a "to," and I also stopped myself from pointing out ...
Smiley face with Hitler mustache and hair.
Posted by: The Good German | February 07, 2012 at 12:05 PM
Damn you, woman! If I wanted an editor, I'd hire Goebbels!
Posted by: UF Mike | February 07, 2012 at 12:29 PM
Can't we all just get along?
Great to see you back at work! I was getting worried here; thought you might have packed it in completely.
Posted by: Martijn | February 07, 2012 at 01:57 PM
I don't have that freedom.
Posted by: UF Mike | February 07, 2012 at 03:19 PM
Mike, you definitely CAN write, we all love you to pieces, and I am so fuckin' glad you're back.
Just spent the afternoon with tea & cake with an awesome woman (from Eastern Germany), then had dinner at the anarchist's place, then came home, turned on my computer and saw you're back at it.
I now can die in peace.
But won't.
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | February 07, 2012 at 03:53 PM
I'd like to write a song about Dupont Circle, but what rhymes with circle? Anything?
"I left my cervix at Dupont Circle..."
I just don't know where to go from there.
Hold it....isnt there a fountain or something there? Where you had a huge snowball fight with a bunch of lesbians?
Good to have you back Mike.
Posted by: ishootblanks | February 07, 2012 at 04:12 PM
"We're not very good at it..." LIAR. :)
Posted by: gillian | February 07, 2012 at 04:30 PM
He is, isn't he?
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | February 07, 2012 at 04:53 PM
Urkel.
You're welcome.
Good to see you back!
Posted by: Bryon | February 07, 2012 at 05:30 PM