We've been tragically preoccupied by our attempt to go out on a date. It's not as simple as it sounds. There's the complicated matter of getting the woman's phone number, followed by the not simple matter of actually reaching the woman via the telephone, followed by the complicated mathematics involved in finding a night suitable for both people, followed by us, last night, getting stood up.
This was at an Asian tea house (Teaism, isn't that cute?) in Dupont Circle. We ordered a pot of tea called Golden Monkey while we waited, and sure enough it had a delicious simian aftertaste that we unfortunately couldn't savor because we were too annoyed at getting stood up. We sat around drinking our tea for well over an hour, thinking maybe we got the time wrong, but no go. Occasionally we would go outside and smoke a cigarette, while striking lonely guy poses that we thought appropriate for someone in our unhappy position.
Which is part of the dating life, we guess, but for us it was the bitter end to several days of agitated waiting for the date to happen, which we spent thinking about nothing but the date, and imagining how we were going to explain to the woman in question that we are still cohabitating with our ex-wife. During this time we were far too caught up in this imaginary uncomfortable discussion to do anything else, much less post on this blog. What a waste. When we got home we thought to check our e-mail and sure enough she had written to say she wouldn't be able to make it, but by this time we were far too overwrought to take much solace in the fact. A wise man once said that if an answer isn't simple it isn't spiritual, and actually arranging to meet with this woman seems far from a simple proposition. So perhaps that tells us everything we need to know. Or perhaps not. Perhaps we should perservere and try our damndest to hook up with her, because she's funny and cute and we like her. Who knows. All we know is that we've wasted several days wandering aimlessly in our own head, having imaginary conversations with ourselves dressed in drag. And waiting around to make another date seems like more torture than we can handle. Still, we'll probably do it, if only because it gives our anxiety a focus, for which we are always grateful.
I happened to play a Leonard Cohen* record while reading this. The synergy was unbelievable. Compassion, laughter, bewilderment, it had everything. For what it's worth: your comeback post kicked ass!
*another sleeper from the record cabinet - I never liked it before, but today... the world of Mr Leonard Cohen is making pretty good sense.
Posted by: Martijn | January 24, 2012 at 03:17 PM
Mike, I am sorry to read about your recent experience. Being stood up is the worst! I will take your beautifully written cautionary tale under advisement and remain a recluse.
I'm glad that you are back blogging. You do have a lovely band of followers as well. You all make me feel part of a creative and loving family.
I had an interesting encounter elsewhere that turned into a blog pissing contest--my first! But I channeled Dorothy Parker and my hits are up. Ha!
http://www.cafeselavy.com/2012/01/traveling.html
Posted by: AnitaNH | January 24, 2012 at 03:17 PM
Futility, it burns with a hard, gem-like flame, the better to burger by.
Howdy!
Posted by: Jeffers | January 24, 2012 at 03:43 PM
Mike, I know exactly how you feel. And I feel with you.
I've been talking with m'friend tonight and I've told him about the female left-winger and so on, and he gave me the advice to keep my aim in sight and just go forward, on step after the other. Sounds reasonable ...
Anyway, the best of luck to you, my friend!
Anita, and I know what you mean. The virtual waterhole of the misfits.
Jeffers, your words give futility that special radiant shine. Just divine ...
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | January 24, 2012 at 04:17 PM
Rock power is ancient, don't see much new agey about it. I'm considering the awareness of crystals as in aliveness, I'm agnostic that way when it comes to crystals. I like thermodynamics too come to think of it. that dude was toooo sensitive Anita. Way to go Mike in taking the steps! You did your part! Imagine the elation you will have when a gal shows up! It will be all gravy after that. Hot tasty gravey, but I digress
Posted by: karoline | January 24, 2012 at 08:45 PM
Mike, that sucks. At least she wrote, but that still totally sucks. Did she imply she'd like to arrange another time, or was it just a, "Sorry, I can't make it!"?
I love this: "All we know is that we've wasted several days wandering aimlessly in our own head, having imaginary conversations with ourselves dressed in drag."
Did you ever read Tunnel of Love? Anita liked it :) http://thegillian.net/blog/?p=10004
Posted by: gillian | January 25, 2012 at 04:29 PM
Hey, Emmett says thanks to you & Alex for the birthday card! Now I gott a take him to the toystore. Dag. Love you's,
Jeffers
Posted by: Jeffers | January 26, 2012 at 10:20 AM
If I had a dollar for everytime I been stood up I could get a date down at the AAA Escort Service.
Posted by: ishootblanks | January 26, 2012 at 01:57 PM
Mike, I hope your silence indicates another big day circled on your social calendar.
Karoline, thanks for the feedback!
Gillian, ToL was indeed fantastic. I noticed from one of your earlier comments that we are the same height. I had a crush on a guy in H.S. who drove a station wagon but nothing much happened in the back as I remember.
Posted by: AnitaNH | January 26, 2012 at 04:57 PM
Mike, do you need a wingman? We can go double dating, you & I. I'll be ever so ugly and slothful. A right dopey looser, not even smoking! Probably shy as hell too and clumsy like W.C. Fields. You'll mirage into George Cloony next to me. What's in it for me you ask? Are you kidding... pitty power, baby!
Posted by: Martijn | January 27, 2012 at 06:57 AM
Mike, you STILL are not posting. Hope the reasons for that are benign! You ok?
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | January 27, 2012 at 10:11 AM
No, I take rejection hard because I am an insecure person with abandonment issues. But I intend to return by Monday at latest. Martijn, thanks for your offer of a wingman. It's very kind of you. But I usually play the pity position in situations like that, and wouldn't be sure how to assume the nonpity position. Hi everybody! Thanks for writing!
Posted by: UF MIKE | January 27, 2012 at 11:00 AM
Yes, we can't both go for the pity vote: Dumb & Dumber have proven that. That one only works if you're stinkin' rich.
Posted by: Martijn | January 27, 2012 at 11:43 AM
Oh fuck. And I am afraid I know exactly what you mean. Get well soon, mate!
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | January 27, 2012 at 12:16 PM