New Year's Eve

The New Year is almost upon us, and as usual we're totally uninterested.  The only way the New Year could excite us is if something totally out of the ordinary happened, like Larry Mullen Jr. put out a solo album.  Boy would that put the zing back in the New Year!

Let's face it: New Year's Eve is for people who get drunk.  And do blow and go to dance parties where they frantically dance their way into a K hole.  Or to a wild party where they end up having so-so sex with the host's sister, who is ordinarily a plushie except she left her rabbit outfit in New Jersey. 

For schmucks like us, who no longer drink, New Year's Eve is a big fat bust.  Anyone who tells you you can have an exciting New Year's Eve without alcohol is a liar.  You can have a quiet but pleasant New Year's Eve, you can even have a sexually rambunctious New Year's Eve, but you cannot have a "This party is so much fun I just took off my pants" New Year's Eve.  And that's what New Year's Eve is all about.  Going too far and regretting it in the morning, then drinking in the morning to forget about what happened the previous night, so that any New Year's resolutions that have been made vis a vis drinking or taking off your pants at parties have to wait until January 2nd, which is coincidentally enough the day we gave up drinking. 

This year we'll be spending New Year's Eve in York, Pennsylvania, which is quite possibly the dullest place on Earth.  No one has ever fallen into a K hole in York Pennsylvania.  But we'll be with our family, so it should be nice in a quiet and pleasant way.  We'll have some laughs.  Our sister and her girlfriend will have a drink or two, as will our mom, who stopped doing Special K a couple of years back.  Mrs. UF will have a drink or two.  And we'll drink soda, and wonder why we had to drink so much and take so many drugs back then that now we can't do any at all, so that we can't fall into a K hole even if we wanted to.  

But we don't mean to sound bitter.  Alcohol and drugs never did us many favors, beyond the first years of smoking pot which were golden glorious.  Frankly the only time we really miss them is during the Holiday season.  There's something about getting shitfaced and staring at the Christmas tree, which is all happy and blurry.  It puts you in a sentimental frame of mind.  Then you take off your pants, and it's all downhill from there. 

Comments

[Martijn]

I've said it before (albeit slurredly) and I say it again: when is science finally going to come up with drugs that are good for you? Is that so hard? Combining the beneficial qualities of vitamins, rest, peace of mind and inspired thinking with a solid taking-your-pants-off, kicking-a-copper-in-the-groin & traffic cone theft trip.

Happy New Year anyhow.

[UF MIKE]

Until that great day comes, my friend, I wish you a Happy, kick a cop in the groin, New Year. Drink some of that Belgian ale made by actual monks for me!

[Jan Martin Löhndorf]

As the Buddha (Or was it Billy Childish? Or both?) said: May all living beings be happy. Which, right here and right now, means you.

[Jan Martin Löhndorf]

New Year's Eve & New Year's Adam

[Dave]

Happy New Year everyone!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGDo1Jybs_I