Life Is a Chihuahua Wearing a Pink Sweater

Here at Unremitting Failure, we're committed to bringing you the final word in futility and failure.  "Not with a bang but a whimper" should be our motto.   We're rather good at whimpering, actually--53 years of practice have turned us into an expert.  From the cradle to the cemetery, Man finds himself confronted at every turn with the banal fact that he's losing ground--that the dreams of his youth have been replaced (if he's lucky) by a minivan and a mortgage.  He rearranges the lawn furniture the way they rearranged deck chairs on the Titanic, oblivious to the fact that his ship is going down.

That's not to negate the fact that there's lots of joy to be found in this world.  We all have our transcendent moments, when it seems at long last that our life on this planet is more than just a drawn-out fatal accident.  And thank god for solace, no matter where you find it.  Anything to make the best of the botch of existence. 

We're going to Germany next week, and in its peaceful and guilt-free embrace we hope to take some pleasure in doing very little but going to the Christmas fairs and taking the dogs for walks in the forest near Mrs. UF's ancestral home.  Talk about transcendent memories; we will never forget the day Maddie escaped her leash, and chased a horse about a pasture.  Five pounds, and in a pink sweater, she put the horse to rout--it kept looking over its shoulder as if to say, "What the fuck is that??"  That was Life, my horsey friend.  It's five pounds and wears a pink sweater and it will chase you until you drop.  The Buddhists are right; reality is illusion.  But it never looks that way.  And if you've ever been hit by a bus, you'll know it's an illusion that hurts.     

Comments

[Martijn]

Well, that's a bit of a downer, isn't it? Ha ha, I'm kidding of course: your gloomiest of posts are music to my dungheap of a soul. And this had a pink sweater wearing malicious canine unit in it.

[Bullet Holes]

Life's an illusion but it never looks that way"
Fuckin' marvelous!

[Bullet Holes]

I mean "reality is illusion". Whatever. I'll take your advice and have a double shot.

[Jan Martin Löhndorf]

Mrs UF's ancestral home - isn't that supposed to be a polish circus wagon?

[UF MIKE]

Jan Martin--I'll tell Mrs. UF you said that. She'll either laugh or cry. Bulletholes, your "whatever" sums up everything very neatly--especially this blog.

[Jan Martin Löhndorf]

I'd rather she laughed.

[karoline]

I think I'll do some home grown buddhism and say "all we observe is disillusional". but i bet mushrooms will make us see god... so we will avoid that.

[UF MIKE]

I never saw God on mushrooms. Maybe I never took enough. I remember one time we took mushrooms and went to the forest. I saw trees, lots and lots of trees.