In the spirit of Larry Mullen Jr., drummer of U2, we wish you a Happy New Year. Have fun. Make a bunch of resolutions you have no intention of keeping. Do the Safety Dance if the spirit strikes you.
Because come Sunday it will be 2012, which we have the feeling is going to be a doozy. A couple of predictions: Bono, over the course of the year, will give out a series of smug and self-aggrandizing interviews about the artistic process. Dick Cheney will, unhappily, not die. And Lady Gaga will reveal herself to be the second-rate Madonna imitator we always knew her to be.
A new year means new beginnings, which turn out to look a lot, indentical in fact, to the old endings that preceded them. Take us. We will probably continue to smoke, even though its fun. And we will probably not finally get around to learning German, even though it's not fun. Let's face it: We are who we are, and we will carry ourselves into the New Year with all of our glorious character defects intact. It's no sin to be imperfect. God made us this way, or our genes did, or our mom did, and it's never too late to say Fuck change, I hate myself just the way I am.