This Is What Germany Is All About

Axe throwing.  Mrs. UF warned us that the hippies who run the Historical Weihnactsmarkt in Rostock usually packed up and left early, but they were still there when we arrived, and we took full advantage of the fact to hurl a few steel axes.  Notice our form.  We look like Ryne Duran on a good day.  We actually hit the target every time too, although a couple didn't stick.  Earlier in the day we'd been hit in the head by a seagull, who evidently had a grudge against us.  We don't get it because we actually like seagulls, unlike some people (Mrs. UF) we could name.  So the axe throwing allowed us to take a little psychic revenge.  We imagined we were throwing the axes at the seagull who hit us on the head, and our aim was true.  As we've said before, you can't do this kind of thing in America.  Germany, unlike America, really is all about freedom.  Freedom to get shit-faced and throw axes.  Freedom to buy fireworks with the explosive power of V1s and fire them off on New Year's Eve. The newspaper in Rostock actually had a full color supplement of all the fireworks packages you could buy, and they were impressive.  They had names like "Rise of the Vulcans" and "Gotterdammerung 6".  More impressive still was the small print in the corner of the color supplement that promised, in English, "Pyro-fun for kids!"

Comments

[Jan Martin Löhndorf]

Yeah, freedom my arse. Feel free to invade Poland! Or rather, Yugoslavia or Afghanistan! Drop your nuclear waste anywhere you wish, the cops will crack the skull of any thinking human being that dares utter opposition!

God, how I despise this country ...

[gillian]

It should have said "Pyro-fun for kids of all ages!"

[UF MIKE]

Gillian, you're absolutely right. Just goes to show you that the Germans have a thing or two to learn about advertising. Jan Martin, I love your vitriol, as no sane person loves their country. They desperately hate it, and would happily see it consumed by fire...