Twenty Lines (Excalibur for Beginners)

There is a sword in a stone.  How it got there, nobody knows.  Nobody can pull it out. 

There was a Frenchmen who arrived from France and guaranteed he could pull it out, but he couldn't pull it out. 

Nobody can pull it out. 

The town drunk swears he pulled it out and put it back in, in the middle of the night when there was no one around.  Unfortunately, he is unable to repeat his feat.

Gradually, people stop trying to pull it out, because it's futile.  It becomes yet another piece of horrible public sculpture. 

One day Gandalf from Lord of the Rings hears about the sword in the stone.  He goes to the place where it sits and tries in vain to pull it out.  Somebody says "No wonder you couldn't pull it out, you're from the wrong epic." 

A man from America comes.  He produces a gun and says, "Show me the trick, see."  People with their hands raised finally convince him there is no trick and he says, "No trick, savvy.  That ain't playin' square, see."

Meanwhile, King Arthur, who is not yet a king, has a crying jag.  The slipper, no matter how hard he tries, won't go on.  He wears a size nine and the slipper is a lady's size four, tops.  This peeves  him to no end, and he tears at his ball gown in impotent fury.   

Comments

[Jeffers]

Yea!!!

[Keith]

The book or the movie?

[Jan Martin Löhndorf]

This is the lost chapter from Tankred Dorst's "Merlin or:: The Waste Land!".

[UF MIKE]

Thank you Jeffers. Keith, the movie. Jan Martin, it pleases me to know there is a real Tankred Dorst and that he is out there doing what he does. Long live Tankred Dorst!

[karoline]

Tankred Dorst! what a great name!

[Jan Martin Löhndorf]

It is, indeed.

[UF MIKE]

He sounds like a Nazi vengeance weapon.

[Jan Martin Löhndorf]

Yes, especially when you pronounce it with a teutonic roll to the "r"s.
Tankrred Dorrst! He's just a rather mad/phantastic playwright, though.

[UF MIKE]

I'll look him up. Why do I doubt he's been translated into English?