Table of Contents of "Hitler's Bellbottoms"

1.  The Myth of the Wart

• Scratching It
• Its Dream Life
• How It Earns Its Pay

2. Trans-Cohesion in a Syncopated Time Zone

• Special Needs Unit
• Learning How to Stand Still While Moving
• The Horrors of Slurry in the Mouth

3. Species Color Coordination

• No No Nanette
• Mean Bean Syndrome
• Evolving Towards Pinstripes

4. A Case of Rolling Stones Tongue

• Bellbottoms in the Bunker
• Morally Bankrupt Lips and Tongue
• Savage Tonsils

5. Celebrating Your Inner Insides

• The Mauve Gall Bladder
• Hitler in the Boom-Boom Room
• On Any Given Day, Your Shadow Could Be Mistaken for Hitler's

Comments

[AnitaNH]

I like this one. I've always had a fondness for outlines and numbered lists. I enjoyed Keith's earlier comment "Top Ten Signs You Had a Bad Thanksgiving" for the same reason.

[Jan Martin Löhndorf]

Mike, you are mad. This was great!

[UF MIKE]

Thanks, folks. And here I thought it was gibberish!

[Jeffers]

It is. It's great gibberish. And there's nothing, nothing greater than that.

[Bullet Holes]

Gibberish? Its the only thing I've read all day that made any sense Reminds me of my first bell-bottoms. They were red white and blue pinstriped, with warts, and even when I was standing still it looked like I was dancing to Magic Carpet Ride. The first time I wore them was the first time I smoked pot, and I found out that night that Visene eye drops would glow in the dark under a black light, and that Sohie Hoober had savage tonsils, and what a Boom-boom room was all about.

[Martijn]

I read it like the humming silence of a slow motion playing of an Evel Knievel record breaking jump. Gibberoid genius.

[UF MIKE]

You guys are too kind. Bullet Holes, the line "and even when I was standing still it looked like I was dancing to Magic Carpet Ride" will stay with me forever, I hope. Ditto your post, Martijn.