This time, no fooling around. No catch and release gizmos. We're buying a gun. Because while mice are cute, we don't want to share our living space with them. And if we have to put a few bulletholes in the walls to get rid of them, so be it.
The last infestation was a fiasco, with the one mouse we released on the fire escape sailing off the edge to his doom and us seeing little mouse heads peaking under the bedroom door at night. We can't go through that again. We need to take more radical measures, such as tiny foliage-covered pits lined with punji sticks in the kitchen and mouse-sized antipersonnel mines and the like. If we had a cat we wouldn't have this problem, but instead we have dogs who howl when the mice are around but do nothing whatsoever about them.
We thought we scared them off after the last episode, which ended up being a circus of blood. But evidently the mice didn't get the message. So now it's violence time, and we're leaving early today to set up the guillotine.
Mice can move incredibly fast! There are a couple living under my washing machine that have eluded Mica so far but due to his excellent track record I have confidence that he will get them eventually.
Aside from adopting a cat I recommend .22 shorts and a steady hand.
Posted by: AnitaNH | August 31, 2011 at 11:55 AM
Mike and Jerry, the new episode - Fight for Lebensraum!
Will you film the massacre and make it an animated cartoon? Pleeease!
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | September 01, 2011 at 07:42 AM
The steady hand could be a problem. But thanks for the advice, Anita.
Jan Martin, I will do just that. But what you will probably see is a mouse victory, and the end shot will be Mrs. UF and I leaving the apartment with just what we can carry.
Posted by: UF MIKE | September 01, 2011 at 08:12 AM
move to the other apartment together! But does the kitchen still smell?
Posted by: Karoline | September 01, 2011 at 04:18 PM
Yes it does. And they don't allow--imagine this--dogs. And there's no balcony to serve as a platform for Rudi's vocal assaults on the neighborhood.
Posted by: UF MIKE | September 02, 2011 at 11:23 AM
get better dogs...our Gindo (named Tai) has killed not one but Two Ground Hogs and I'd have to say theu are much more of a problem her in your old hometown than mice are plus much meaner when cornered.
Posted by: Keith | September 03, 2011 at 06:46 PM
Try this it's awesome!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFdfoYhGJj8
Posted by: mordantmouth | September 04, 2011 at 07:01 PM
awesome? really? I nearly puked but I guess I am a bleeding heart mouse loving nerd. they have little hearts and little legs that keep twitching when being zapped. If ya kill them maybe eat them too? or find a hungry snake... speaking of snakes i am suffering the guilt of having run over one, a big one, saw em out the rearview window quickly recoiling off the road after the deed. hope it survived.. a nice black and white striped one
Posted by: karoline | September 05, 2011 at 09:00 PM
Native americans used every part of the mouse.....:P
Posted by: mordantmouth | September 10, 2011 at 10:07 PM
Mice are cute... But get a cat, I just picked up a little 11 month old main coon who just got his first kill!
He was all proud too lol!
Posted by: orange county ca escorts | January 02, 2012 at 11:45 PM
Rats are lovely... But get a cat, I just selected a little 11 30 days old major coon who just got his first kill!
Posted by: orange county csa | January 18, 2012 at 06:52 AM