This time, no fooling around. No catch and release gizmos. We're buying a gun. Because while mice are cute, we don't want to share our living space with them. And if we have to put a few bulletholes in the walls to get rid of them, so be it.
The last infestation was a fiasco, with the one mouse we released on the fire escape sailing off the edge to his doom and us seeing little mouse heads peaking under the bedroom door at night. We can't go through that again. We need to take more radical measures, such as tiny foliage-covered pits lined with punji sticks in the kitchen and mouse-sized antipersonnel mines and the like. If we had a cat we wouldn't have this problem, but instead we have dogs who howl when the mice are around but do nothing whatsoever about them.
We thought we scared them off after the last episode, which ended up being a circus of blood. But evidently the mice didn't get the message. So now it's violence time, and we're leaving early today to set up the guillotine.