Not writing isn't easy. We don't know how anybody does--er, doesn't--do it. Most people never write anything, and we can't tell you how jealous that makes us. Especially since we've been denied the simple pleasures that make most people happy. Take riding a bike. We can do it, within reason, but we can't do it with frills. Like last night we decided to look cool by smoking and riding our bike at the same time and the next thing we knew we were lying in some bushes, abraded at various points of our body. We have never been able to do two things at once, and there are plenty of things we can hardly do by their lonesome. We used to know a guy who smoked and masturbated at the same time. We'd never be able to pull (pun not intended) that one off.
The minute our tooth pain ceased another tooth started to ache, so we're back where we started. It never ends. You hit our age, and the pharmacy becomes your best friend. We practically live in the place, looking at painkillers and filling prescriptions, which at last count we have eight.
One complaint we want to register with the world is against Motrin 800s, which you need a prescription to buy and which are supposed to work for 8 hours or so but only work for 3. We'd be better off taking 10 Advil, which is what we were doing before the failed Motrins came into our life.
Next week we're headed for Nags Head, North Carolina with Mrs. UF and a couple of friends, and hopefully the sun, fun, foam and freedom will liberate us from the miasma of dour agitation that has been following us around for the past couple of weeks. Hopefully we'll be able to blog from down there, because we hear it rains a lot and we're likely to find ourselves with time on our hands. One thing we hope to do: swim and smoke at the same time!
Dive and smoke, what about that? Give it a try!
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | July 21, 2011 at 05:02 PM
Nags Head sounds like fun! Maybe you'll be able to pour water on a beached whale or clean up some oil spill residue or something. Hope you all have a great time!
Posted by: Dave | July 21, 2011 at 11:28 PM
I love the rain. Enjoy some rain for me, Mike, will ya?
Posted by: gillian | July 22, 2011 at 02:09 AM
I actually knew a guy who did that, smoke while scuba diving...
God, I feel so boring. I wish I was 'the guy'. I wish there were people saying about me 'I once knew a guy who could... '. I wish I was an anecdote. Of whatever kind. Somewhere from here perhaps people say "I once knew a guy who said 'I wish I was an anecdote'". Probably not.
Seriously now: I wish you a very good recovery. And I'm hoping you experience some of that 'sun, fun, foam and freedom' of yours.
Posted by: Martijn | July 22, 2011 at 04:20 AM
Martijn, I seem to recall you are responsible for some lovely artwork. So, aren't you "a guy who could"?
Posted by: gillian | July 22, 2011 at 07:00 AM
Aw, thanks Gillian, but it is hardly the 'stuf of legends'. I want to be 'the guy who set fire to his beard with fireworks' (my dad) or 'that guy who escaped from hospital with decompression sickness to go diving the very same day to an irresponsibly deep depth' (my best friend) or 'the guy who dug up skulls from the semetary to sell them to art students' (my uncle).
But perhaps I am some sort of legend. I am 'that guy who sat there and didn't say a word the whole evening.'
You are so kind Gillian!
Posted by: Martijn | July 22, 2011 at 08:25 AM
Or 'the guy who set fire to his beard with amateur fire spitting'... that was my uncle as well. Come to think of it, there were a lot of beard fires in my childhood. Not just in my family. A physics teacher burned his beard off in class while demonstrating the bunsen burner. Hê hê... so I do have some good childhood memories after all.
Posted by: Martijn | July 22, 2011 at 08:29 AM
You could write about about your flaming beard of a childhood. Then people would say, "There's the guy who wrote the great book about beard fires."
Posted by: UF MIKE | July 22, 2011 at 08:55 AM
Say, Martijn - aren't you the guy who wished he was an anecdote?
Anyway, I am not much more than the guy who drew a snowman warming his heiny at a campfire as a christmas card, so fucking what.
Hey Gillian, I love rain, too! The sound most of all ...
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | July 22, 2011 at 09:12 AM
You are the best! Absolutely the best.
Posted by: Martijn | July 22, 2011 at 09:40 AM
Shaving rubs me the wrong way.
Posted by: Bulletholes | July 22, 2011 at 11:45 AM