I can't remember the last time I went to the dry cleaners. I let my shirts clean themselves. They'll do it, with the proper encouragement. I see people going in and out of dry cleaners and I think "You've got to talk to your shirts, not put them in the hands of rank strangers." I don't want people I don't know handling my things. This is why I don't go to prostitutes. Have I mentioned that I am extremely ugly? I have a nose that makes Pete Townsend's nose look like a button nose, I have male pattern baldness that I attempt to disquise with an inept combover, and my eyes are too widely set on my face. I see somebody else with dry cleaning walk by. What a racket! I should open a dry cleaners, only I'm not Korean. The Koreans get all the breaks in this town, you'd better believe it. If you're not Korean, you're nobody. I hate it when I finish a cigarette. It's hard to say goodbye to such a small pleasure that didn't satisfy. It's a hard thing to admit but I don't have the intelligence to properly prosper, hence mediocrity is my lot in life. People say that TV has changed, that it's for smart people now. How I miss it.
« Twenty Lines (Written Outside a Cafe) | Main | Complaint »
July 09, 2011
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For years, I had a huge crush on Pete Townsend. Have you seen The Who's Happy Jack video? I submit that it is one of the best things ever. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52cQeFBU2Kw I saw it back in the day when MTV was actually good for something.
Posted by: gillian | July 10, 2011 at 05:28 AM
I used to say to my (now ex) best friend David, "Why aren't we rich? We are brilliant and hilarious!" He had no answer. And, as far as I know, neither of us ever got rich. He did, however, always manage to date men with money.
Posted by: gillian | July 10, 2011 at 05:30 AM
Why do I get the impression your peaels of wisdom that you offer up yp us phillistines take about 7 minutes to write? Could it be that's how long one cigarette lasts?
Posted by: rick piel | July 11, 2011 at 01:45 AM
he could call the collection "the cigarette diaries",or "toking time stories" or "the drags"
Posted by: karoline | July 11, 2011 at 08:09 AM
The cafe ones do take that long. The ones in the office longer. No smoking inside!
Posted by: UF MIKE | July 11, 2011 at 12:26 PM
love
Posted by: jenny | July 16, 2011 at 11:47 PM