Shaving (Twenty Lines)

This morning we shaved our nose, just for the hell of it.  Then we rode our bike to work, which we've never done before.  It was nervewracking.  Too many pedestrians on the sidewalk failed to heed our cry of "Get the fuck out of the way!"  But we made good time.  Showed up at the dot of eight.  And immediately turned on the Handsome Family's Amelia Earhart vs. the Dancing Bear, which we listen to like 80 times a day.  We used to play albums, now we play the same song over and over again.  It calms us.  And we need a calmative, because the anxiety is killing us. 

There is an iron-clad rule that some people shall suffer misfortune all the days of their life, and there is a gulf between these people and well-adjusted people that cannot be bridged.  Such people look for hope everywhere, in books, in music, in love, in suicide. 

Once when we were a teenager our friend Larry Shrader took us up in his airplane, and at one point he deliberately let it stall and we plunged toward the earth till he restarted the engine and pulled us out of our dive in a great graceful arc.  He said, "I bet you thought we were dead, didn't you?"  And we said, "Larry, we have absolutely no faith in happy endings." 

We're a lucky person, always have been.  We never get jury summons, and once when we failed to file income taxes for six years it turned out the IRS owed us, thousands of dollars.   We found Mrs. UF, and got to meet Allen Ginsberg, and when we got shitfaced there was always somebody around to put us to bed.   Pity about our head.  We do our best, but as the Band sings, "oh, you don't know the shape I'm in." 

Comments

[Peteski]

Luck is what happens when preparation meets Abbott and Costello

[UF MIKE]

That might just be the most profound thing yhou've ever said, Peteski.

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