Renowned Restaurant Critic Unremitting Failure Reviews: Fiasco's!

We ate at a new restaurant on O Street last night.  It's called Fiasco's, and our linguine appeared to have shrapnel in it.  We haven't had such a poor dining experience since we went to Taste of the Ganges, a short-lived Indian restaurant on P Street where we contracted a severe case of amoebic  dysentery.

The decor of Fiasco's was interesting.  The walls were covered with memorabilia from the SS Andrea Doria, an Italian ocean liner which sank off the coast of Nantucket in 1956 after colliding with the MS Stockholm of the Swedish American Line.  The menu is the same as the menu served on the Andrea Doria the evening the collision occurred. 

As you entered the restaurant, you were handed a life preserver.  We thought that was an interesting touch.  The maitre de said it was just precautionary, but he looked worried.  About 10 minutes into the meal there was an all-hands lifeboat drill.  It took  us away from our clams casino, which were nothing to write home about anyway.

We were halfway through our linguine when a pipe burst in the kitchen, and water started pouring into the dining room.  So the life preservers came in handy after all.  Fortunately the wall of water deposited us on the street outside the restaurant, where a waiter cried, "Oh, the humanity!"  We watched in horror as the restaurant turned on its side and sank. 

From now on we're sticking to restaurants we know.  Like the Sacrificial Lamb on R Street, which once you get over the piteous bleating, serves up a fine kabob at a reasonable price.  It's okay, as long as you aren't the type to let a little ritual bloodletting spoil your appetite. 

We took this photo outside the restaurant after the water pipe broke.

Comments

[Bullets]

I always wanted to steal your Art Expert shtick. Now you got this going. Genius and funny as hell. I give up.

[UF MIKE]

Thanks Bullets. But you tell a great story, and don't even need a shtick. You can go shtickless.

[Bullets]

You know, when I first started my blog I had a shtick. This gal would put up pictures of fancy shoes, and I would write world class menu's to go with them.
Hush Puppies, Shoestring Potatoes, Meatloafers and Shoe-fly Pie; everything from your standard fare to Haute Cuisine.
But I had to quit.
Blogging comes with certain affectations, and I got to where every time I saw a good looking ladies shoe I started to drool.
Very unbecoming.

[rick piel]

You had a dead seagull on a schtick.

[UF MIKE]

Now that's funny!