“A priest, a parson, and a rabbi walk into a bar…”
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May 20, 2011
David Hockney’s Big Splash
"Oh dear. I'm going to need a bigger skimmer."
May 19, 2011
Art Expert Unremitting Failure Squints at: Ary Scheffer’s The Temptation of Christ!
"And over here, a Taco Bell!"
Futurism
The Italian Futurists championed speed, motion, the machine. They had no time for what came before—they wanted progress, progress, progress! Their leader, Filippo Tommaso Martinetti, famously wrote that “a roaring motorcar that seems to run on shrapnel is more beautiful than the Victory of Samothrace.” All that said, you know what we’d really like to see? A Futurist still life.
Unremitting Failure Squints at: Francisco Goya's The Fallen!
Goya, who is generally regarded as the first modern painter, had a didactic side. Here he illustrates the dangers of horses climbing trees.
News Flash!
Our Littlestown correspondent Ben Ricci--Littlestown, for those of you who don't know, is the ancestral seat of the Unremitting Failure family--informs us that the town's most important cultural landmark, The Hunter's Inn, has temporarily shut its doors. This is a tragedy in the making. We spent our fair share of time besotted in its charming redneck atmosphere, and generations of Littonians have fallen off their first bar stool there. Ben and yours truly are discussing a fund raiser to help reopen the inn. Ben is also thinking of offering paying tours. In Ben's words: "And here folks, this hole in the wall? No. It's not from a rebel shell during the Battle of Littlestown. That's where Monk Crabbs through a punch at Officier Holtzsnyder and missed. See those small holes in the ceiling? Those are from the bar stool legs the night Monk went berserk because they didn't have Marlboros..."
Unremitting Failure Squints at: Alessandro Allori's Susanna and the Elders!
Obviously, your Biblical elders had a different conception of "personal space."
Unremitting Failure Squirms at: Friedrich Herlin of Nördlingen's Circumcision of Christ!
You've got to be kidding. Who brings a carving knife to a bris? And who was the mohel, Larry the butcher? What we're looking at here isn't a sacred ritual--it's the reason Christ never married.
Unremitting Failure Applauds: Max Ernst, Madonna, Spanking Child Christ!
Still a baby, and already turning the other cheek.
We like how his little halo has fallen off.
Unremitting Failure Gropes Blindly Towards: Marsden Hartley, Sustained Comedy
We feel a great kinship with this man. We both agree that the only thing funnier than an arrow in the eye is an arrow in both eyes.
