Final Thoughts on John Lennon

"Early in the winter of 1981 I went up to see my friend Ernie in New York City and to see my all time favorite band do their hit single, "Driver's Seat."  I saw them, then I went over to see Ernie who is a coroner's assistant; he works in the morgue of New York City.  He's a wild guy, man, does lots of cool drugs.  I knocked on his door and sat down, I said "Ernie, man, how you doin'?"  and we partied some, man.  And we're partyin' and Ernie pulls these kernels out of nowhere and he says "You know what these are?" and I say "They look like Cracker Jacks" and he says, "They're Cracker Jacks from the stomach of John Lennon!"  And I went "Wow, man"  and we both looked at them for a while.  Then we partied some more and Ernie passed out.  I was layin' there man and I was thinking about it and I couldn't get those Lennon kernels out of my mind.  So I finally snuck over to where he put 'em down and I... ate one.  Then I ate another one, man.  And suddenly... suddenly I felt really monstrously beautiful, man, and I just like, began to sing... "Driver's seat... wooahwoah... Driver's seat."   And then I decided I was going to go out and groove with the people, I was gonna commune with the people, I was gonna be one with the people, and I walked outside, man, and it was a beautiful New York City night and I was walking down the street diggin' and groovin', groovin' and diggin', and suddenly I began to feel these horrible pains in my stomach, I was like Ow! Oh! What's that? It feels like some kinda Alien shit going on in my stomach and I'm getting really fat and suddenly I realize I'm going to give birth!  And I fall to the street screaming and this thing comes popping out of me and it says, "Yoko? Is that you Yoko?"  And I SCREAM! And it comes scuttling out and I look at it and it's a perfect little 9 inch John Lennon BABY!  With these bell-bottomed fucking jeans and the I LOVE NEW YORK t-shirt and the fuckin' silly hat and those granny fucking glasses, I hate those granny glasses, and it gets up man, and it's all twisted, and it goes running across the street, scuttling across the street, almost gets hit by a fucking car. and it turns around on the other side of the street and points an accusing finger at me, and says, "I'd really love to tell the truth to all you cunts, instead I will deceive you with some cunning stunts.  I hope someday you'll join me, at the wrong end of the fucking gun."

Burp

Comments

[karoline]

I am about to have my lunch - butternut squash soup, wish you were here to split it with me man, a good day for soup, all rainy and shit. might be a good follow up to those kernals.

[Air Force Ones]

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today

[UF MIKE]

Ewwww. I'm afraid I'll have to pass. Orange soup is a horror that even Hieronymus Bosch couldn't have imagined. But hi! And love ya baby!

[Keith]

Sniff n Tears....I think was the name of the band who did that song...saw them with Kenny Logins freshman year at Kutztown