Bumpity booka booka badump! Thwocka thwocka ppoiik ppoiik! And Go! the crowd shouted, as our hands blurred and Red Rodney blurted and farted hot bop testimony through his golden trumpet, and Ferb Wurthers the gone now saxophonist turned his eyes heavenward, reed poised approximately one tenth of an inch from his jazz genius muttering-silently-to-himself lips, waiting for the perfect moment to jump in and JUMP
On 57th Street!
1956 cabaret card in pocket!
Please no eating on the bandstand!
Lost in the long blue blurt!
And afterwards we followed Ferb to the Automat on Sixth Avenue, where he spent an hour staring at a slice of sweet apple pie, like he was looking to it for the answer to some question posed by his sweet solo playing
Like it was the pie that told him when to jump in, and what to say with his horn, and when to get up and walk out and be lonesome on the streets of New York City in the October rain, with the streetlights reflecting off front bumpers of the big black sedans cutting sadly, sleekly, slickly, solemnly by.
I saw a Guy walking down the street in Harrisburg with bongos yesterday. It's finally catching on.
Bumpity booka booka baddump!
"You go man. Like a crazy cool cat," I said. He replied, "Dig. Little white brother. How would you like bongos shoved up yet ass?"
Posted by: Ben | May 25, 2010 at 01:46 PM
A maraca up the ass is one thing, a set of bongos quite another. I'll bet that would even surprise your normal jaded ER staff:
"What's he got up there? A dildo? A gerbil? A Louisville Slugger? A fluorescent tube light? A flashlight? A GI Joe? A ball-peen hammer? A dachshund? Paul Williams? One of those really long and bendy novelty pencils? A police baton? BONGOS, you say? THIS I GOTTA SEE!"
Posted by: UF Mike | May 25, 2010 at 02:22 PM
How about a pope-shaped dildo?
Posted by: Jan Martin Löhndorf | May 25, 2010 at 02:56 PM
The head bong's connected to the [tok] neck bong. Three cheers for Mike & The Boys down in the tank who can make me laugh on this office with a level 3 migraine! Yeah, I know it's a sissy sickness but what can you do... Talking about sissy, I'm glad Dave discovered his 'type', #86: Chefs de Confort Moderne which made me realise I wasn't a 'Casual Queer' at all. It was just that there weren\t that many types in the book and I sure wasn't a 'Chairman'. No, Casual Slob is more my thing, or Dave's # 86... Never mind.
I don't know which I find more disturbing (up ones ass) a Pope-shaped dildo or a GI Joe.
Hey All!
Posted by: Martijn | May 26, 2010 at 02:45 AM
Hey Martijn! I think the Pope-shaped dildo is more disturbing. At least here in the US, where every good patriot has a GI Joe stuck up his ass.
Posted by: UF Mike | May 26, 2010 at 08:53 AM
You guys have a new title to publish: "1001 Things You Can Shove Up An Ass". Might as well put penis (no. 35) on the list. Right after no. 34 Enema.
Anus humor to start the day. You have to admit enema is an awful name for something your supposed to stick in your ass. Wordsmiths?
Posted by: Ben | May 26, 2010 at 09:02 AM
Hiow about a double-paradiddle followed by a flam?
I tell you what, percussion lingo is pretty bawdy stuff.
Posted by: Steve | May 26, 2010 at 10:01 AM
Getting a turd back in would be quite dada, wouldn't it? You could sell tickets to see that. Step right up!
And Ben, you want a good name for something to stick up the old poop shoot? I think "rammalamma-dingdong" has a jolly ring to it. "Mr. Johnson, are you ready for your rammalammadingdong?" "Sure thing, babe!"
Posted by: Martijn | May 26, 2010 at 10:05 AM
Let's not forget corndog.
Posted by: UF Mike | May 26, 2010 at 10:26 AM