Coyotes have been in the news lately. First they ate Jessica Simpson's dog. Then they ate a Canadian folk singer. If celebrity deaths truly do come in threes, Scott Baiao had better be listening for the pitter patter of little paws.
Don't get us wrong. We have nothing against coyotes. But obviously they're letting their food issues get out of hand.
Perhaps it's time they turned to Rabbi Shmuley.
"Rabbi Shmuley, help! First we ate Jessica Simpson's dog. Then we ate a folk singer. And now we want to eat Scott Baiao!"
We saw a coyote once. He was walking along the road in Estes Park, Colorado. Maybe he was hitchhiking. It was hard to tell since he didn't have thumbs. Anyway, he looked pretty inoffensive. But who's to say? For all we know he was walking off a hearty meal of John Denver.
Our sister informs us that coyotes have been spotted around her place in York, Pennsylvania. Can you imagine? Coyotes in Pennsylvania Dutch Country! They're probably already debating the merits of eating the Amish. "Sure. Go ahead. But don't eat the cute black hat."
We're glad we live in the city. There are no coyotes here. There are no alligators or bears either. Basically, if we're going to get eaten by something, it's going to be a cannibal. This is why people in the city are so suspicious of one another. We've narrowed down the list of our natural predators to everybody who uses a fork and a spoon.