There's a big debate going on about healthcare reform, a debate that we know nothing about because we'd prefer to google old pictures of Firefall. Presumably, however, real issues are at stake, and as a citizen we have a responsibility to inform ourselves about said issues and then take a stand.
So we've read up on the debate, and we find ourselves amongst the conservatives, who believe that every wealthy American has a right to affordable healthcare.
We're lucky enough to belong to an HMO, or health maintenance organization. The organizing principle of an HMO is that you join, then they fuck you coming and going. It's a clever idea and we envy the people who thought it up.
Millions of Americans have no healthcare at all. This is a rotten state of affairs only for those weaklings who get sick. Remain vigilant against illness, and you will have no need to spend your kids' food money on doctor's bills.
Lots of people have erroneous ideas about the healthcare reform being debated in Congress. They fear they'll come before "death panels" that will decide whether they live or die. This is ridiculous. The death panels won't make such decisions; they'll simply make recommendations to physicians, who will make the ultimate call.
It is our hope that our wise legislators can come up with a sane healthcare policy that involves the use of medieval barbers, who will charge low prices based on the fact that they have no medical training whatsoever. In our ideal world, $5 will get you a lobotomy and a haircut.