And you know what that means. It's March 1st Day, a worldwide holiday celebrating the first day of March. In Western Europe, people run around with calendars pointing to the day March 1st and saying "That's today!" It's quite festive really. Elsewhere tradition varies. In Africa people play golf. In Asia whole families get together to produce synthpop. In Hollywood aboriginals gather to play eerie-sounding instruments made from the windpipes of rangy veldt beasties. In North Dakota it's traditional to get really drunk and accidentally chop off one of your hands while attempting to cut firewood. A similar tradition in Wisconsin involves getting really drunk and burning the house down. In Iceland March 1st is a double-whammy of a holiday. Not only is it March 1st Day, it's also Beer Day, which commemorates the end of that country's prohibition of beer in 1989. The people of Iceland like to celebrate this dual holiday by first suffering an accidental injury and then drinking shitloads of beer to help forget about it.
Incidentally, March 1st is also Self-Injury Awareness Day. So don't injure yourself deliberately. Should you get drunk and injure yourself accidentally, however, that's getting into the spirit of the occasion. You're just showing your support for that guy in North Dakota, who's standing at the woodpile shouting, "Honey, have you seen my hand?" If you're too much of a partypooper to accidentally hurt yourself, do something else in the March 1st spirit. Produce some synthpop, for instance.
Comments