Has compiled a list of the 1,000 recordings to hear before you die. If Grand Funk's "We're an American Band" isn't on it, we're going to have a problem. Seeing as how we're a lazy schmuck who couldn't possibly be bothered to wade through such a long list, we've decided to put the cart before the horse by simply assuming WAAB isn't on it, and writing its compiler (Tom Moon) an insulting letter of complaint. Here it is:
Dear Mr. Not Keith Moon:
Anybody who could come up with a list of 1,000 recordings to hear before you die and not put Grand Funk's "We're an American Band" on it is a man skating away on the thin ice of his own ignorance. Sooner or later you'll fall in, drown, and be nibbled at by the bottom-feeding fish of your musical cluelessness until you're but a skeleton of pure dumb stupid. But hey, we're certain that Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass' Whipped Cream and Other Delights is as irresistibly catchy and intellectually deep as "American Band." ARE YOU FOR REAL? With the words "Come on dudes, let's get it on!!" Grand Funk changed the world. Which is more than one can say about whatever moldy madrigals, gag-inducing Gregorian chants, and abominable hymns by Abbess Hildegard of Bingen are sure to stinking up your list. Sir, the omission of GFR's WAAB is an act of unconscionable irresponsibility. We'll bet Mott the Hoople's "All the Young Dudes" isn't on your list either. Jesus. H. Christ, are you a dunderhead. Nay, thou are the veritable King of Dunderheads.
Sincerely,
UF
Watcha bet Junior Brown's "Broke Down South of Dallas" ain't on it either?
Hi Mike!
Posted by: Dave Mows Grass | December 14, 2008 at 05:22 PM
Hey Dave. Hope Stevie Ray Steve is doing okay. And I'm sure you're right, although now that I've checked his list I'm reassured to see AC/DC's on it. And anybody who likes AC/DC can't be all dunderhead.
Posted by: Unremitting Failure | December 15, 2008 at 08:14 AM
You're a true American hero.
Posted by: KJ Beans | December 15, 2008 at 03:01 PM
Thank you, KJB. I always ask myself one simple question: What would Grand Funk do. The answer? Tear that hotel down.
Posted by: Unremitting Failure | December 15, 2008 at 05:01 PM