In an incident that national security personnel are calling "potentially world-ending," President George W. Bush hurled the "nuclear football" over the White House fence and into a crowd of tourists yesterday. The toss came after the president scored the winning touchdown against himself in a one-man game of tackle football. Said White House spokesperson Dana Perino, "The president was celebrating a TD and threw the atomic football into the crowd. It's a common NFL practice and I'm sure any other modern world leader would have done the same." The football has yet to be recovered. Said Perino, "We're confident it will appear on eBay."