We Can Tell You Why We've Always Been Unhappy

The fucking womb.  Nine months in the fetal position.  Which you think, okay, you're a fetus, of course you're going to be in the fetal position.   Yea, because there's no fucking place to stretch your legs!  If there was room your fetus would move around, maybe brew some coffee, but no! It's worse than flying economy in there!  And then comes the date of release and instead of opening a goddamn door they squeeze you through a passage narrower than your head before putzing you out like a playdoh turd. Then they slap you.  And videotape the whole thing.  You might as well be a child molester.

Comments

[kfc]

Really? Because I am quite sure that I did NOT want to leave that place, seeing as I was a month LATE. Perhaps I had some prescience of what was on the other side. And for years later I continued to sleep in claustrophilic style - in the closet, under the bed, in my toybox, in the laundry bag with the poodle... I kid you not.

[sodajerk]

The Ovarian Bastille.......(Stewie from Fam Guy.)

[megita]

Now that you mention it, perhaps I should have taken that meconium soup in my mouth as fair warning.