No speaky your speaky

We are not good at languages.  Our English is passable, and we know a tiny smattering of French and German, but in general we're better off stomping our foot on the ground once or twice in answer to simple yes-no questions than trying to produce actual words with our mouth.

But who cares about languages anyway?  The ancient Romans thought they had it going on because they could speak Latin and Greek, but let's see how far that gets them at a McDonald's drive-thru.  Rather than accentuate our failure to comprehend the "tongues des foreignes" we prefer to emphasize our many other intellectual strengths, such as, er, the fact that we're not bald yet.  And, uh, most people can read our handwriting.  Plus we don't wear tube tops.  Nor do we blow cigarette smoke in the faces of little kids except when we're playing "Second Hand Smoke" with our nephew and niece.  They love it.  They cough and laugh and cough and cough.  It's adorable. 

In the end it's a toss up. We can't speak Swahili.  And there are people out there who can speak eight languages but are bald.  They can speak to Swahilians but guess what?  That isn't going to put a hair roof on their head.   

Comments

[Dave]

My English isn't passable, not even in a jeepney.

http://jeepney.com.ph/

[sodajerk]

my current job is to interview folks foreign to Scotland.........and the bit down south we call Poofland.that connects us to our Celtic Brothers from Wales........and get enuff info to get them our equivalent of yer social security number..

most of em speak english ,plus a few more languages(smug bastards).

if they claim to "not understandee the language".

all you do is talk louder and slower.let them know the problem is theirs.

sometimes if they are french or german ,i pretend i cannot understand them.

arrogant som,bitches.

come to my country to work for more money than i am getting...........fukkem Danno,no number for you.

hehehe..........abuse of power.......almost makes up for not makin a living wage.

[Ben]

"...except when we're playing 'Second Hand Smoke' with our nephew and niece."

Kids love simple games, don't they? Reminds me of when my dad used to fill the house with cigarette smoke on Sunday afternoons so my brother and I could pretend the Germans tossed a little mustard gas in our trench.

Ben and Chris having fun on a boring Sunday afternoon circa 1915:
http://www.worldwar1.com/arms/gas005.jpg

[Keith]

where in the world is UF?