Gay Marriage in California: Men FORCED to Marry Men!
An editorial by Unremitting Failure columnist Beryl Zimpf. Beryl sits on the Board of Directors of Homosexuality Watch, a nonprofit foundation dedicated to fanning the flames of "sanctified intolerance."
Well, it's happened. The nipple-clamp-wearing "judges" who gesticulate like drooling lunatics in the bedlam of the California court system have legalized gay marriage. It's only "fair," they say.
Oh really? What's so fair about men being forced to marry men? Or men being forced to marry manatees? Or women being forced to marry women who look like men and wear lumberjack shirts?
Forced, you say? Yes. Forced. Before the gay propagandists began their frenzied agitating, there were exactly 9 gay people in California. You can look it up (Invert Peril Newsletter, June 1976). In order to inflate their meager numbers, the inverts of San Francisco's Castro District set about systematically disco-brainwashing normal people to turn their backs on God's City on the Hill in favor of the blasphemous suburbs of Sodomville and Gemorrahtown. Suddenly, abomination became the new "San Francisco Treat."
Now a court dominated by the Secret Santas of Sodomites everywhere has placed its filth-loving imprimatur on the ghastly profanities of homosexual intercourse, and equated the squalor of man-on-man butt action with holy matrimony.
It won't end there. Already gay men and women have seized control of California's legislature and introduced a law requiring all TV outlets to run "The L Word" round-the-clock. Bette Midler will soon become California's state bird. Heterosexual married couples will be hassled by that gay cop from the Village People. A sodomy tsunami will roar across the United States, submerging innocent communities in S&M and copies of Blueboy.
Tom of Finland will be our next president. He'll wear assless chaps on the White House lawn.
"Bette Midler will soon become California's state bird." That's a good one. But who would be the new state mineral? Sir Ian McKellen?
Posted by: Phil Core | May 16, 2008 at 10:01 AM
Now that's funny! Although I'll be damned if I know why.
Posted by: UF MIke | May 16, 2008 at 12:47 PM
If y'all had any idea how the hetero men behave out here, you'd see why the perfunctory nuptuals are quite necessary.
Posted by: kfc | May 16, 2008 at 01:50 PM
New Jersey's Official State Fruit is the tomato.
ps. New Jersey's Official State Slogan is "Vito Must Die!"
Posted by: peteski | May 16, 2008 at 01:52 PM
How do they behave out there? Here on the east coast we're all princes, straight and gay. We're sensitive and can talk about our fears and we hold doors open for everybody, including paper bags being jostled by the wind.
Peteski, what's the New Jersey state bird? Sanitation Workers' Union Local 417?
Posted by: UF MIke | May 16, 2008 at 03:53 PM
NJ state bird???...I thought it was the "stool pigeon"?
Posted by: keith | May 19, 2008 at 07:22 PM