American People Demand New Overseas Natural Disaster

Beset by a worsening economic crisis, hyperinflated gas prices and the Iraq War, the American people have welcomed as a happy distraction the natural disasters that have befallen Burma and China.  However, the freshness of both humanitarian crises has worn off, and Americans are demanding a new cataclysm fix to keep their minds off those SUVs they're never going to be to able to sell.

"I need something," says Larry Dwight of Fulbertsville Ohio.  "I'm bored with the earthquake, and Burma is so last week."  Alice Mercer of Sink River Wyoming agrees.  "I could just die of tedium every time they show the rubble of that stupid school.  I'm hoping a volcano spews lava over some densely populated South Seas island.  Or Australia sinks into the sea."  In Gilbert City, Florida, Duwayne Jenkins says he's keeping his fingers crossed.  "Is it too much to ask for a new monumental human tragedy?  I guess so.  I guess I'm going to have to go back to worrying about how I lost my house and my son's in Iraq and my other son has plates in his head he got in Iraq and I've been forced to creep out at night and siphon gas from neighbors' cars so I can drive to look for a job.  I NEED another overseas cataclysm.  And if God exists, he'll send me one." 

Comments

[Ben]

TFF!

[Keith]

Ben agree and sadly too true.

[Ben]

Maybe I need to revise my man of few letters approach to life: TFF = too fuckin' funny. Which hopefully isn't too true or sad.

Now I'm wondering what you thought I meant.

(Hey Keith!)

[UF MIke]

It's human nature I think. Like Mel Brooks said, "Comedy is when you fall down an open manhole. Tragedy is when I stub my toe."

[keith]

doesn't TFF mean Too F***ing Flower? as in Raymond?

;=)

[keith]

doesn't TFF mean Too F***ing Fowler? as in Raymond?

;=)