Adolf Hitler committed suicide on this day in 1945. The Nazi leader was despondent over the failure of his Hitler! Live at Budokan! LP to reach the Hot 100. Secluded like Sly Stone in his fortified underground bunker, the disconsolate dictator/singer/songwriter poured scorn upon bands like the Doobie Brothers and the Eagles, which he called "toothless country rock for people whose idea of the country is the vacant lot behind the In-N-Out Burger on Venice Boulevard." As the Russian Army closed in, Hitler rued the failure of his intelligence service to kidnap Art Garfunkel. "Hitler & Garfunkel," he told his faithful-to-the-end propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels, "would have changed the outcome of the war. The combination of my fanatical will and Art's ethereal backing vocals would have both moved and terrified the record-buying public. No one could have stopped the sonic blitzkrieg of our Aryan-Semitic fusion!" Like many a performing artist before and after him, the folky fuhrer refused to let go of the dream. "I built this Reich on rock'n'roll!" he told his vegetarian chef, Fraulein Manzialy. "And I will survive! Hey, that sounds like a good idea for a song."