Failure Called to Jury Duty

The District of Columbia wants us to show up for jury duty on March 18.  More than a decade has passed since our last call to jury duty, which we simply ignored.  We're not much of a believer in the American system of misjustice, or anybody else's system of misjustice either for that matter. But it's the American system of misjustice--which runs on the principle that if you're black you may not necessarily be guilty, but you'll do--that we're familiar with. We simply don't want any part of it, except perhaps in terms of jury nullification.  We'd be more than happy to see some drug offender go free, more than more than happy actually, here in prison-happy America there are some who would gladly see everybody in prison but we're not one of them.  The problem, as we see it, is that plenty of people who are in prison shouldn't be in prison while plenty of people who should be in prison aren't in prison, our President for example.  Tell you what.  Put our president in prison and we'll reconsider our attitude towards America's criminal justice system.  Put him in a cell with a big violent mofo, and you'll have yourselves a believer!

Comments

[Ben]

Ha Ha! Jury duty! I had a string of that misfortune a few years ago being called numerous times in a few short months. The last time I got yelled at by the elections Nazis when I decided to sit on the floor to complete their stupid questionnaire. So I stood up in front of all the other prospective jurors and said, "I’d gladly take a seat if one was available, but as you can see you haven’t provided enough chairs for the number of people you’ve invited to spend their day in court.” And in response, she snapped “FIND a seat or I’ll find you in contempt.” So I stood there and completed the survey: Yes, I believe in capital punishment. Yes, I have been convicted (wrongly) of a serious crime. Yes, I believe whatever I hear a police officer say, specifically testimony against guilty defendants…

Adams County has gone to a pool system, which is dreadful beyond description. Innocent, indifferent citizens are held against their will for an entire day in a “pool of prospective jurors.” You stay in the pool until you’re finally rejected for all upcoming trials on the docket. Sure enough, I stayed in the pool all day—which ironically mimicked any other day, but this brought extra calamity because I wasn’t free despite being in the so-called halls of justice. Being somewhat of a jury duty veteran I was peeved I couldn’t self-deselect myself using my normal process of lying.

I have to admit, I was bellicose and belligerent from the moment I walked through the front door and through the metal detector. There is nothing worse (in my opinion) than spending a day with megalomaniac court staff and lawyers. The jury pool lady pissed me off from the moment I laid eyes on her silly tin badge—having flashbacks from fifth grade when some big-egoed patrol (or crossing guard) ordered me to “step back up on the curb.”

[teepeegee]

I love your take on trading jury duty for the conviction of Bush. Rock the Vote!!