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October 04, 2007

Ten Reasons to Hate U2

1. They have a guy in their band named Larry.

2. They still haven't found what they're looking for?  Would it kill them to ask a clerk?

3. "The Edge" sounds like a disposable BIC product.

4. How awful is Bono?  If given the choice of sparing either Sting or him, we would actually have to think about it.

5. In the name of love? How about in the name of God?

6. Bono is an anagram of Nobo, Noob, and Pompous Dickhead.

7. They care so much it makes our teeth hurt like we're chewing tinfoil. 

8. If given the choice of sparing either Bono or Oprah, we would actually have to think about it.

9. James Joyce counseled his fellow Irishmen to adopt "silence, exile and cunning."  In Bono's case, we'd have settled for the silence.

10. They're going to be around forever, aren't they?  Like a turd stain on a gas station wall.

Comments

Paul, David, Larry, and Adam.
fuckin Jiffy Lube technicians in Buford, Georgia.
although i will admit i went and saw the Unforgettable Fire tour at the Cap. Centre in '85.
but that's where my listening to them stopped.
with that "album"

They've got some songs we love, and we hate ourselves for it. But we've got to stop blaming ourselves. It's not our fault. It's the fault of the lepers in our head.

Hell. You forgot the 11th reason, which may actually be my first. "U2:" which is now a texting petroglyph for a band name that is somewhat grade schoolish and way too assumptive/presumptive.

Great point. At the risk of sounding like an "old fuddyduddy", we would just like to take our false teeth out for a moment and rail against all the "whippersnappers" who think using "u" instead of "you" is perfectly acceptable. It is not, you bunch of insolent jackanapes, and if we see you doing it again we're going to beat you with our cane like a red-headed stepchild.

I saw the BOY tour, and it was great, but once they decided to start 'waving flags' forget it! I want my music to entertain me and evoke MY OWN feelings! I DON'T want it to try to drag me into whatever the singers are representing! THEIR views aren't necessarily MINE!
U2 - YUK!!

You'd actually have to think of who to spare between Bono and Sting? At least Sting was in the Police...


Q magazine gave their new 'album' 5 stars. This means it'll suck. Bono owns Q.

Do they still play 'Bullet The Blue Sky'? Bet they have their tongues in their cheeks when they do. Peeling off them dollar bills... one trillion dollar bailout... two trillion dollar bailout...

Them folk in Borneo who've never even seen a radio, a beenie hat, a pair of wraparounds, or a crosseyed bass player, don't know how lucky they are. But don't despair... Bono and the gang will find you.

I have this fear that one day, when the governments of the world are forcing bird flu jabs on us at gunpoint, we'll be given a complimentary U2 compilation. I'll take my chances with a bullet.

Bono is a self-consumed bastard who inherently doesnt give a shit about anyone else or, for that matter, know what to do with his money so he covers it up by giving to people in need.

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