We Want Money

Large amounts of it.  Unfortunately, we haven't the foggiest notion of how to get it.  Right now our big money-making scheme involves sitting around hoping the publishers clearinghouse people will come to our door with one of those oversized checks. 

Actually, that's not true.  Lately we've been spending lots of time looking at the ground while we jog, hoping to find money.  People find money on the street all the time, and they're not even trying.  We're trying.  We actually found $20 on the street a couple of months ago, but it was ours, part of the $60 we lost earlier that day.  Thanks to our industrious progrem of searching the streets for money while jogging, we're out 40 bucks.

We work for a living, but money earned is no fun at all.  We want free money, of the type that falls from trees. 

What we really need is a fabulous entertainment sibling who earns hacienda money and who can think of nothing better to do with said moolah than give it to us.  We would love such a sibling just as much as we currently despise our real siblings for cruelly destroying our fabulous entertainment sibling dreams.  If any of our real siblings should happen to read this, we despise you.

Lottery money would be good, but we're too lazy to play.  You've got to play to win, which hardly seems fair.  We wish one of our good-for-nothing siblings would get off their ass and play the lottery for us.  This hardly seems like too much to ask. 

We're not holding our breath.

What we really want is castle money.  If we had a castle, life would be completely different.  We would have a moat.  And when bill collectors came to our door we would simply draw up the drawbridge and shout, "Talk to the moat!" 

Life would good with a moat.  Some people dream of someday owning a boat.

We say fuck the boat.  We want moat!

Comments

[sodajerk]

being Scottish,i live in a castle........with a moat.

they are overrated.
moats i mean,not castles.........castles kickass.

[sodajerk]

being Scottish,i live in a castle........with a moat.

they are overrated.
moats i mean,not castles.........castles kickass.

[Jeffers]

I have just invented the electric castanets & you dear brother are out. OUT! I am also betting on the boll-weevil races, but that's another story. Go Stanky!

[UF]

Sodajerk AND Jeffers! It's like winning the daily double! Now we is rich--in happy! Hey you two!

Jeffers: Them races is fixed! Stanky's jockey is in the pocket of a powerful syndicate and no way does poor Stank come in better than show,

[Lx]

what're those utility bills
in those castles?
too damp and cold for me.
can one have a castle on the beach?
other than made from sand?
i'm game for that.

[Ben]

Whoever said "money can't buy happiness," didn't realize everyone needs one of these:

http://www.porsche.com/all/911turbocabriolet/assets/images/splash-image.jpg

"Oh Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz. My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends..."

[Lx]

cars break down.
we need booze.

[sodajerk]

i have a fully functioning Bar in my castle.

Edinburgh Castle.

If you ever visit Edinburgh,pop in.

Just tell em SJ sent ya.

You will not need to worry about accomadation,as you will be arrested.

do not worry though,our polis do not carry guns,cept sometimes when they do.