The 4 Categories of Rock

This is the unique system that we're bequeathing to the world.  The four categories are:

1) Smart Good (e.g., Mott the Hoople, Arab Strap, Killdozer)

2) Smart Insufferable (e.g., The High Llamas, Patti Smith)

3) Dumb Good (e.g., Foghat, Grand Funk's "We're an American Band", Sammy John's "Chevy Van")

4) Dumb Insufferable (Foreigner, Paul McCartney, John Lennon)

Of course, categorization problems arise.  Are the Police Smart Insufferable or Dumb Insufferable? (Does it matter?)  Is Elton John Smart Good or Dumb Good? (Depends what you mean by smart.) Some artists seem to merit their own category (e.g., Janis Ian = Simply Insufferable).  Many artists straddle categories (e.g., REO Speedwagon moves effortlessly from Dumb Good to Dumb Insufferable).  Finally, some artists--and these are the true geniuses--have the gift of taking their dumb insufferability so far that they actually become Smart Good.  Leo Sayer's "Long Tall Glasses"--with its "I am a man of the road, a hobo by name/I don't seek entertainment, just poultry and game" lyric--would seem to be an example of this.   

Dumb good

Comments

[wi11iam13]

you are betraying your 'dumb dumb' small town roots and are in fact old, and in the way...

[sodajerk]

REO Shitwagon.

REO Speeddealer.

[UF]

William: You're so vicious. You hit us with a flower. You do it every hour. You're so vicious. As for "Old and In The Way", we put it in the "Smart/Insufferable" category under "Bluegrass."

And Sodajerk: Here in Amerka, we call a mentally challenged person a sped. Hence, REO Spedwagon. Or, as we henceforth dub them, REO Shortbus.